The Confidant

I chose you
to entrust
with the secrets
of my heart.
I let you
know
the deepest
of my desires.
The way
to calm
and extinguish
my fires.
‘Twas to you,
I admitted
my greatest fears.
I allowed you
to see
and wipe away
my tears.
I felt no shame
inside
when you looked at me...
when I shared my vulnerability..

You know
What no else has known.
You’ve seen
What no one else has seen...

When my main focus
was to stand tall and
appear to be unaffected.
Unable
to allow myself
a moment to grieve.
Unwilling
to wear my emotions
on my sleeves.
You were
my ink and paper.
My diary entry...
The one whom
I spoke of
my soul’s content with..
In my house
Of refuge,
you, yourself
were the bricks.
In the moment
that comfort
was needed ..
You...were the fix.
I had nothing
but your compassion
made me feel
so rich...

I value you.
For your patience
was worth more than
you could imagine.
But even for the most patient,
time is so precious.
You left my life abruptly.
No kiss goodbye.
No message.
No calls or second guesses.
Tell me how
could I accept this?
I still lay awake at night.
Wide awake and restless.

Was it my constant need for you..
that chased you away?
Or
Was it my dependency...
that made you go astray?
Was it the way I called for you,
whenever things went wrong?
Is it because
I needed you near,
In order to feel strong?
Maybe it was because
I expected so much
from a friend?
Is that the reason why
you brought our friendship
to an end....?
I guess the reason it hurts
the most
is because I know
somewhere out there,
the secrets of my heart
are still in your possession.
A sacred list
of all my confessions.
Nevertheless..
I can’t thank you enough,
for being the one.
My beloved confidant.🖤