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Moment of awareness
Then a moment of awareness
faded into carelessness once again.
I awoke in confusion
and turned over to see if you were really there.
In the darkness
I couldn't see a thing.
And I must admit
I felt a rush of paranoia flood through.
Ooh love
And then I had to face the truth
You weren't there,
the dream is over
Here I lay,
alone.
faded into carelessness once again.
I awoke in confusion
and turned over to see if you were really there.
In the darkness
I couldn't see a thing.
And I must admit
I felt a rush of paranoia flood through.
Ooh love
And then I had to face the truth
You weren't there,
the dream is over
Here I lay,
alone.
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Re. Moment of awareness
11th Jan 2019 1:56pm
Re: Re. Moment of awareness
11th Jan 2019 7:11pm
Re. Moment of awareness
11th Jan 2019 2:05pm
dearest Hunter a very achingly painful write...
so beautifully expressed...
love Brenda 💕
so beautifully expressed...
love Brenda 💕
1
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Re: Re. Moment of awareness
11th Jan 2019 7:12pm
Thanks Brenda for reading and commenting with such kind words as always!
Very appreciated!
Very appreciated!
Re. Moment of awareness
11th Jan 2019 2:21pm
Re: Re. Moment of awareness
11th Jan 2019 7:12pm
Re. Moment of awareness
And there you lie, comfortably numb . . .
I think everyone can relate to this, Hunter.
The only honest critique I can honor your request with is this:
Then a moment of awareness
faded into carelessness once again.
I awoke in confusion
(and) turned over to see if you were really there.
In the darkness
I couldn't see a thing.
(And) I must admit
I felt a rush of paranoia flood through.
Ooh love
(And) then I had to face the truth[;]
You weren't there,
the dream is over
Here I {lay},
alone.
The parenthetical references are suggestions for removal, while the brackets are suggested insertions. As to grammar (without going into a plethora of technicals), lay should be lie. The only time we can use lay to mean “to recline” is in the past tense. Here's a reference link:
https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/lay-versus-lie
I think everyone can relate to this, Hunter.
The only honest critique I can honor your request with is this:
Then a moment of awareness
faded into carelessness once again.
I awoke in confusion
(and) turned over to see if you were really there.
In the darkness
I couldn't see a thing.
(And) I must admit
I felt a rush of paranoia flood through.
Ooh love
(And) then I had to face the truth[;]
You weren't there,
the dream is over
Here I {lay},
alone.
The parenthetical references are suggestions for removal, while the brackets are suggested insertions. As to grammar (without going into a plethora of technicals), lay should be lie. The only time we can use lay to mean “to recline” is in the past tense. Here's a reference link:
https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/lay-versus-lie
1
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Re: Re. Moment of awareness
11th Jan 2019 7:13pm
Thanks very much Ahavati!
Your thoughts and critiques are always appreciated🙏
Your thoughts and critiques are always appreciated🙏
Anonymous
- Edited 6th Feb 2019 11:45am
11th Jan 2019 7:25pm
<< post removed >>
![Anonymous](/images/avatars/_nopicmini.gif)
Re: Re. Moment of awareness
12th Jan 2019 3:23pm
Re. Moment of awareness
16th Jan 2019 4:57pm
A lonely awakening, to a sad reality. Such melancholy; I think you expressed it very well... Thanks for sharing.
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