Haiku#7?

Forms a perfectly serene image in the mind's eye. I love a good haiku. Namaste.

Thanks alot Daniel!🙏 glad you liked! Namaste✌

Thanks for reading! Haikus are great✌

Thanks very much Bender! Much appreciation🙏

nicely executed

Thanks alot!🙏

I enjoyed this imagery, as one of my favorite things to meditate to is light upon water - and its reflection across its surroundings.  

Because this is titled a Haiku, I would honor your request for honest critique by suggesting a more traditional form of haiku as originating from the east.  If you haven't already, I recommend studying the "Great Four" haiku poets: Basho, Buson, Issa, and Shiki. ​ I think you would greatly enjoy them.    

There's nothing wrong with carving your  own niche, but for me haiku is rooted in ancients far exceeding mere words, but essence.  And you have that in spades.  

For example,  one of the oldest and most important guidelines for writing haiku is that there should be just one break in the grammar.  The first or third line should stand alone (the fragment) while the other two lines are joined grammatically (the phrase).  Here your haiku is really one just sentence with breaks.  

It's a good idea to put punctuation, either an ellipsis (...) but more often a dash (-), where you think there is a break in the haiku; however, as you progress you will eventually use no grammar, and one versed in haiku will automatically distinguish the fragment from the rest.  ( I've also seen semicolons used; however, it is incorrect, as a semicolon connects two independent clauses, not an independent clause and fragment. )  This is where yours is disrupting the natural flow ( for me ).  

Let's see what happens when you remove 'of':  

brightly beaming rays  
glisten on the surface -  
waves gently crashing

That creates the independent clause and fragment present in haiku.  

Your kireji ( Japanese for cutting word ), 'crashing' is excellent.  A kireji appears at the end of one of the three lines in a haiku.  Also, traditional haiku doesn't count syllables as the west does - it counts 17 sounds ( on ).  Therefore, if you wrote a western haiku in syllables - it would most likely have to be amputated to fit the traditional Japanese form.  It's okay if your haiku is 3-5-3, or 2-4-2.  It's the power of brevity that resides within a haiku - not a western syllable count ( though some Western writers may disagree with me ).  

Thank you for the read.  

Wow thank you so much Ahavati again for an extensive critique which are always greatly appreciated!
They help me to improve as a writer so thank you!
Your vast knowledge of poetic forms is exceptional thanks for correcting this haiku and providing me with the proper Eastern form I shall attempt another with your corrections in mind! Thanks again

Glad I could help! You should follow Josh too - he is a master of forms.  

Nice Hunter.
I've never understood Haiku's, but I think you do them well.
It sounded really cool.
MZ.

Thanks MZ!🙏 glad you liked your kindness is very appreciated!