he spoke the word suicide

a smile ~ a laugh ~ a tear ~ a frown
a sad, sad man we knew was falling down
he was falling way too fast
no one seems to notice? no one seems to hear?
for when he put that noose in place
no one happened to be near
he left without a warning? yes, perhaps.
he left without a sign? yes? no? why?
but he tested out places in various areas
for structural strength with a grin in his eyes?
he sent a cry for help out on the wire
but when he didn't call as advised, assume that he's fine?
days and nights on end in a blackened out room
perhaps testing who'd care and come and check it out?
i heard you knew, tried and true, dealer
"paranoia ~ tweekin ~ just twackin out"
your shit wasn't that fuckin good dude-
that was him considering his escape route
he kept the god damned pre-knotted rope
never far, and showed it to all
no, it was not a prop, not a god damned joke
not part of his strange collection on his walls
had nothin to do with the brotherhood
now there's lumps in our throats, so we can choke
on thoughts that we didn't see what we should
lookin back, the signs were all there
he spoke the word suicide, and spoke it everywhere