Five Words I’ll tell You on your Deathbed

It was a school day;                    
sitting in the McDonald’s drive-thru.                    
You asked if I wanted a happy meal;                    
I was seventeen.                      
“Don’t you want the toy?”                    
I stared out the window.                      
I want                      
nothing                      
from you.                      
                     
The parking lot was vacant.      
     
“You should've kept your mouth                      
shut,” you said.                    
“Told you not to say anything                      
during the meeting.”                    
     
Actually, you told me                    
to shut up in the meeting                      
in front of a bunch of nuns —                    
my panel of judges.                      
The lot was empty                      
but the line was long.                      
An eternity.                    
                     
“You could have been expelled.”                    
                     
I noticed some kids playing                      
on the slide inside.                      
They were playing nice:                      
                     
Not a gun, knife, fistfight;                                   
no adult in sight                    
                     
“You're lucky you weren’t expelled.”                    
                     
The crime, as it stood                    
was defending myself                    
refusing to pray                      
with bully hypocrite girls                    
on a field trip.                      
                     
For this, I was forbidden                      
prom and suspended three days                    
from school.                      
Jesus, if only I had something                    
Like Your Resurrection . . .                      
for me it was only hell              
                  
There was no coming back.                      
                     
The last two years                      
were the hardest                      
of my life.                    
Whispers                  
from teachers      
                     
The next school-shooter                   
The emotional one                    
Be careful with her                    
Sit her away          
from other girls.                    
                     
You'll never know the humiliation.                  
                
Over the years                      
I watched from a distance                      
of what Karma                    
had in store for                      
those “good girls”            
nuns said            
would never bully me            
I told you before the meeting            
repeatedly            
my story            
           
Why didn't you believe me?               
                     
your daughter, only child            
what would the future            
hold for a rebel like me?            
           
I graduated college                    
magna cum laude                      
earned a masters                      
and honorary award                      
for my thesis on empathy                      
remained a virgin until marriage                      
married a Catholic in the church!                      
I was every parent’s dream --      
or, should have been.                    
                     
But that day,                      
the words that came                      
from your mouth                      
could never                    
be unsaid:                    
                     
I am ashamed of you.                
                     
I stepped out of the car                    
in the middle of the drive-thru                    
of Mickey D’s                      
No happy meal.                      
No toy.                      
Just                      
                     
five words ingrained
in my head
You'll never disappoint me again
 
Daddy's little girl
is dead