the heaviness of being

 
the clouds press in on me
and I struggle within myself
with the heaviness of being

face to face with God
he's not as you think he is
all shining love

I've seen otherwise
in the natural order of things
both below and above

yes he is beautiful
there is no doubt about that
my eyes attest to this fact

you witness it in creation
in the evolution of his soul
but there is a darker side

most dare not see him naked
though I have and after I did
my infantile beliefs were shattered
by the genius of our father

he will go to any extreme
to see his experiment
come to fruition
a mad scientist he is
dabbling in evolution

chaos and death
are part of rebirth
the mighty redwood seeds
must first burn
before they are freed
as sentinels over this Earth

he desires I learn many things...
things of wisdom
his method, pure insanity

but what do I know?
in all the vast universes
I'm just a child
with a fierce will
evolving in understanding