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STAYIN’ OR LEAVIN’ (DECIDING ON WHICH IS BETTER OR WORSE)

What is left to say that has not been already repeatedly said?
Why should I try and make you continue staying here with me anymore?
When you've already gone ahead and decided to secretly exit stage left -
How can I make you see that what you've done to me is far beyond immoral and unjust?
When you've already slammed shut your guiltless book and proceeded to solely blame me for all the inflictions that were done between us -
Yeah, it's probably true that you and I were probably not meant to last -
But we'll never know whether that is actually the case or not -
Cause you've gone and done made up your mind that it's better if you're anywhere but here with me, so there's no changing that fact -
And it seems as though you and I have been play-acting our half-hearted emotions in a poor man's play every day since the devil knows when -
I knew that you'd eventually grow weary of faking it to make it with me and you would find a means of quitting the play before the final act -
And yet that day has come, and most are not quite prepared to take on a solo lead part but nevertheless, I was though...

Nd since you thought it in your best interest to walk out of my life with little to no forewarning -
All I have to say about that is I bid you a fair adieu and hope the best for you -
And if you feel the need to tell all your friends and family that I was an SOB right down to the letter, go right ahead and do so -
Also feel free to let them know that I am rotten to the core and I'm such a horrible guy -
Heck, don't forget to let 'em all know that I turned out to be a knight in tin foil who is an inconsiderate jerk -
For Pete's sakes, I'll even be your scapegoat, in order to absorb the brunt of supposed horrible things I've said and done to you -
So, go right ahead and do your worst to me, you will get no retaliation from me -
Cause if making me out to be the monster is what helps you get over me and move on with your life then so be it -
Nd if berating me assist in having an untarnished conscience then go on and unleash your belittlement about me to anyone any everyone -
I will not waiver nor will I ever bend or stoop to your level in order to get some sort of vengeance upon you -
No, cause I believe that karma will be more than delighted in obliging in getting revenge upon you for me -
So, yeah, I'll willingly take all of the emotional black eyes that you give me with a grin upon my face because there's no way in hell that you'll ever be able to tarnish the person that I know I truly am -
So yeah, it's sadly true stayin' here with me is far worse than lettin' you just leave...

Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever imagined that you'd turn out to be duplicitously Janus-faced, apathetically insincere, hypocritically backstabbing and perfidious towards me but nonetheless you were -
You're completely unaware that your hallowed words that flowed through your forked tongue like a dab hand swindler briefly hypnotically compelled me to be subservient and docile -
I also foolishly believed every word you say no matter how meaningless or contrary they might've seemed -
You probably are not aware either that there have only been very few people that have ever actually made me feel so insignificant and unavailing -
But yet somehow you were the one of the very few that really managed to make me feel as such -
And on occasion, I have felt like I walked around on eggshells around certain people -
But yet whenever I'm around you, I constantly felt as though I was always walking on shards of my broken heart, hopes, and dreams -
That you somehow managed to use and cutting more wounds into this already wounded heart -
Admittedly, at first appearance, you came off as so harmlessly intoxicating -
But oh, how I had wrongly assumed such an inaccurate assessment about you -
Because in fact, I was to discover a little too late that you were, in fact, a lethally noxious person -
So, the hardest but yet the utmost bravest thing that I am gonna ever have to do is letting you leave here without asking or begging you to stay just a bit longer -
Cause, in all honesty, letting you continue staying here would be a whole lot worse than letting you covertly leave me...

Undoubtedly all admit that watching you leave is hard -
Yeah, it's really heartbreaking and gut-wrenching -
It's shaking the very core of who I am, surely it will damn near break whatever is left of this ole heart -
It will be hard to fathom who I would be without you here beside me -
But it would be even more difficult knowing who I would become if you were to stay here with me -
Only the devil and God knows how hard it is that we've both tried to repair what was broken between the two of us -
But we've both come to an understanding that there's no use in attempting to try and fix what we constantly and continually rebreak time and time again and over and over again -
So, it's time that we come to an agreeance that staying together is worse than one of us leaving...

Go on ahead and keep your pride and blame me if you need to -
Even though your underground railroad liberation feels a lot like treason -
But despite how your betrayal makes me feel I do realize that it's bound to get better once one of us makes up our mind and leaves -
I mean it can't get much worse than it is now, can it?
I sure in the hell hope not -
I am done trying to figure out who's right and who's wrong anymore -
Because it's high time that we just move past this he said she said bullshit -
Cause I know staying here with me is worse than you leaving...

Yeah, I've known for some time that both of our hearts had seemed to have changed their tune about loving one another -
And I've been aware that the trust we had between us was very frail and withering away -
Although it wasn't until recently that I figured out that you stopped caring about me altogether -
And all the ill-reputed words we've spoken in anger will leave open wounds which eventually in time will slowly heal and leave scars behind as grim reminders of our ill-fated love -
Even though our love is almost dead, it still somehow manages to continue barely breathing and hanging on by a thread -
It's waiting on one of us to pull the plug on its life support so that it can be put out of its misery -
And it looks as though you are the one who is going to pull the plug on our love and officially put it out of it miserable existence -
And I was the one who stupidly hoped that there might be a slim chance in hell that our love was revivable -
But since you've gone ahead and requested a do not resuscitate order, our love is assuredly unable to be revived at all if the plug is pulled -
But oh well it's for the best cause stayin' here and pretending to love me is much worse than leaving a half-dead heart...

So , on your way out I earnestly deplore you not to tell me that you hope the best for me -
Because you know damn well that hope is meaningless to me -
So, you're blessing hoping the best for me is more like that of a curse, although it's a nice appreciated gesture -
Also, do not make a promise that we will keep in contact with one another, because I know all too well that will not be the case or happen as often as I would like it to occur -
But however, if we were to ever meet up yonder in the future days to come by happenstance, I hope that our rendezvous will not be an unfriendly meetup -
But instead, it will be one where we reflect back on the good memories of what we had rather than the bad ones -
And before we part ways, I hope that we both can cordially agree that leaving was the best thing for both of us because staying with each other was far worse than us leaving and going our separate ways...
Written by ArcanceOdist (Gunney Recon Jack)
Published
Author's Note
The poem is self-explanatory overall
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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