Hard To Let Go

It’s hard to let go, but also hard to stay.  
I stand in the rain watching from a distance, wishing I could just walk away.  
Heart torn into a thousand pieces, but also aching to be loved.  
My mind is telling me to give up, but I’m praying for answers from the man above.  
I wish to distance my self and throw in the towel.  
But I lie awake at night, wishing things never went sour.
I wish to wash my hands completely and just let 4 years go.  
But as I look at our daughter I only wish for both us to be together as She continues to grow.  
I want to cause you pain just as you caused me.  
But it’s not in my nature to do so, so maybe it’s time to be set free.  
You feed me lies and I am just tired and fed up.  
I just can’t  seem to let you go, no matter how much you have fucked up.