I Envy You

 
I hope
You’ve found peace,
At home where we go
In our dreams-
Which help to ease these,
Faster days, that run away,
With that, missed taste of yesterday.

And He, never knew me, really.
Never took the time to do that properly.
But honestly, I believe,
That we were meant to be,
Each-others property,
For at least this eternity.

All that’s left for me to figure out,
Is how you evaporated to the clouds,
And left me to come to turns,
With the lessons that you never learnt.

Yes, I’m grateful for the clean cut,
It’s the only outcome I’d get that from.
I guess your course ran out of luck,
Or were you too sick to see the love,
Or too caught up in that London rush?
I bet you rushed.

We’d never known,
How far you go
To know the truth, to use your youth:
And I can’t help but envy you.

You can’t blame me for being bitter.
He said he had his shit together
And was going to be there for his little sister.
-    I know you miss her.
But your lies got the better,
That we would beg for,
Cry for, literally have given all for.
To hear you mean it, when you say
That you’re over this.

I’ve already cried an ocean for that man,
Even swam, against my instincts- that at times,
Have just said: leave this.
But I believe our souls have bonded,
Even if we might not have always wanted.

But that’s just the way things are,
I cannot lose my mind
Over a new star.
Because I’ve taken it that far in the past,
I’ve frightened myself so much
I’m most defiantly scared.
It was fucking hard.

So, forgive me if I don’t stab my heart,
It’s still healing from the last time,
You broke my mind.
Babe, I love you more than life.
But now I have to go live mine,
So, rest tight.