mockingbird

 
I don't want to be me today
do you mind if I am someone else?
I want to be a bad girl
let my demons speak for me
they are dirty, sleazy thugs
speaking from the mean streets
 
I conjure them to step to the front
I saw them in my dreams last night
they don't like all this soul-searching shit
we want to be ugly and act a fool
 
rusted out thoughts
from the netherworld
where my brain bakes
in the corrupt sunshine
stringing my synapses  
along a darkened pathway
 
deep in the tunnel of rage we go
where I bitch slap pain
rape her feelings
giving her bastard maggots
that all sing of regret
but fail to feel it really
 
too numb from the coat hanger abortion
expelled from the womb
of true understanding
 
with an intellect sharply honed
on how to mock being human
an actress on the stage
with many faces
 
pick the one you like I will play her
then shock with reality's schism