trodden on by trauma

laying here writing on a poem
of which i have no clue
so i start to write
tired, disconnected, dreamy
head in the clouds
a mind half asleep
struggling to think of words
for the next line
now line after line
 the words are starting to flow
so steadily through me
writing in pace with my thoughts
i am a little sad and lost like a misfit
odd, muddled and confused
mind feeling a little seperate
from the body which i apparently own
disconnection, depersonalisation, dissociation
all starting with the letter D
i can think of nicer words
Dandelion, Daffodil, Dove, Dream
i wish i never had to deal with the weird letters
trauma, trauma, trauma
oh you really are to blame
you do not realise
how much you hurt me
trauma
you are like a boot treading on grass
a heavy footing
unfair weight hurting one's mind
green green grass strands
hurting. shrinking,
unable to do anything
but feel the weight
do you think the grass feels free?
whilst being traumatised you lose strength
burdened and pushed down by baggage
scared, weak, powerless
mind feeling like damaged grass
hurt grass and that grass hurts
even after the boot has disappeared
but what if another boot appears
or several ?
how would you feel ?
think about it