Gloriously Smoking "FAKE" Early Boyhood

Yah, ma brew their,
    and American sister golden hair -
     afar and away
book as aye ken ream hem bar,
     yea when yar whiz jist a bay
bee, hun me
     verily hoppy goo
     loo key lil boy whar 'r each day

o'r flowed with giddiness oot nar the
     secluded Harris estuary
frolicked amidst muscled shoals
     gnome hatter sky turned
     f'ty shades o' gray
hawk cool when
     barf heat squished sand
     hall lung pristine beach hooray

ah...those memories (hmm...oh...well)
     wii ch war newt mine,
     boot bar rowed fur room Jay
son and  argonauts cave his Oh kay
seance ah waz tip poor
     tuff ford me own may
mar ease, noon thee lass nay
var tha lease, aye fain tis eyes hub boat

     hoof "FAKE" sea
     yuck rat passageway
along tha loon lee coo west
     hove yar hug quay
thee pass sea if 'ick Ou shin sum
     moo with as ray
dee aunt gull lass oon lake now win me
daughter ring auld age aye

wharf heal moss elf ill eagle
     red dee tug hoe bye
bye, cuz hive eel
     emotionally frenzied, harried,
     and jangled as if
     o'er dost hay'n reedy to die
on barb bit char writs eye
lichen to a class five

Saffir-Simpson Hurricane, no...no...no...
     methinks oh pen hee van
     thar iz a big oop stares "guy"
     seen 'm once, when we booth said "Hi"
aye whiz juiced up t'har - me no lie,
what, a stripling lad,
     (thus jist man hedge gin my
flat hand outstretched wheel nigh

fin gars call loess tug getter try
tou pet yar palm awk
     coo pull hove feet
     fur him tha floor),
     now (NOT FAKE) chalk
wii ch hide id hawk
daring ma prime er skool daze
     didst slip smooth white

     totally tubular woo din
     lock (like) thin small
     round see garrote joint long stalk
con vein y'ant lee a'signed
     tuck clap 'race ears oot side den maze
wen axed bite t'eat char, me Noah talk!