catastrophic Collisions

 
A Catastrophic Collision i invison perplexed about our mutral signs
As if intentionally this was your design
Life and death walks a thin line
Franticly i tell myself I'll be fine
still feeling your hand in mine
Eyes closed
Expression undefined
You left soon after
Your hand never let go of mine
As sure as Day fades to night
The aftermath came
Wraping me up tight
Violently suffocating my light
Erodeing whats wrong or right
Worthless and unwanted unite
let down every reason to fight
Leaving me hopeless
abandoned and out of focus
Im a Bi product of hateing you
With your demons I now am infused
Self-loathing ensues
Never cared if I still needed you
It was always just us two
Still hearing breathing so slight
Images of you laying there I fight
Now drugs don't take away that sight
It hits me with such might
You took two lives that night
Now unable to do anything right
Compulsively i push away
My Hope left with you that day
A emptiness I can't convey
You Knew i would find you
Hardly breathing and blue
Now im failing as a parent too
I hate i ever used too love you
No subtance i refuse
I bleed from your issues
Just like someone i once knew
And more importantly
A grand daughter only two
what did she do
But Smile and love you
She saw your face and knew
She was First in the room
What good i had inside
Gone With your selfish Boom
Locked away with you in your tomb
The last gift you gave me
A realization I never had a home
Years Trying to fill a void
i used to roam
Looking for solice
A place that i was known
Now Forever Trapt in my head
all alone
I treid to save you
Frantically picking up the phone
I'll never forget that dial tone
You need to think subjectively
When Understanding the complexity
Of her standing next to me
Unaware of what effects will be
Three years later
I utilized the tools left for me
To construct a broken home
A mid sized uprise
I can call all my own
You had to Envision
The catastrophic Rippling effect
The Generational consequences
I have no choice but to accept
my mind is forever in a state of unrest
Forever hearing your last breath
But I will not pass on your mess
A fake smile I will invest
My kids will think I'm like the rest
They can go on and be their best
I pray that plan is a success
With such precision
I make secret hidden incisions
For a few seconds I forget
whats little i meant
Forever trap in your Collision
replaying the vision
seeing us both dying there off the kitchen
Stuck in this evil intermission
terrified ill make your decision