Culmination

Excellent, AtomikOne.  

One suggestion only:  

we brim with psyches stocked  
to the [rim]

*takes a bow*

Thank you :) This might be the one time I totally disagree, because I intentionally added those back-to-back repetitions in that stanza. I really felt like breaking a cardinal rule of poetry 🤣

You are a rule breaker my friend!  Kudos on this poem.

I don't know that it's a cardinal rule; repitition has worked countless times through the ages. 📝

I prefer "Chaotic Good", D&D has a good defining system 😆

Thank you dude!

What's your impression of what my alignment would be???

Ahhh, well, right now is proof that I check FB usually before DUP.

I don't known why, except maybe FB is just junkfood for the brain? And interacting with refined folk here requires (in the best way) more mental presence and consideration?

Hmmm...

But I stand by my comments, NG, or TN. Am I right?

You may be... I am considering this.  I don't think I'm evil, but I'm not super good either, at least not by the definitions of the super good people.

dearest Atomik One
i'm so grateful you're still here..

awesome write..

love Brenda

My thanks and my love Brenda <3

I am too. I am really busy but I *need* this

"There's nothing owed  
an offshoot hails"

I'm getting tripped up in the transition of statements here

"Eyelashes fresh with sunlight to catch  
we brim with psyches stocked"

and there as well.

May I suggest a semi colon after Line 1 and a capitaluzation beginning Line 9?

Otherwise, an engaging write.  



 

Thank you JB! I'll take some time with it after dinner :) I appreciate it man!

I thought 'on the end of a prong' was unnecessary you had me in these intricate webs of rhyme and repetition and rhythm until then and it dragged me out as if almost uncomfortable in the mouth but that was just my opinion. I think this is gorgeous, I love the fresh, clever, wry way you write.

beautiful words sewn together with original imagery  - god I have missed your words - my been too has been kinda quiet of late - but that will change :-)))))

excellent as always

I miss writing as much as I did months ago. I think I got burnt out in a way, but I gotta get back into it more consistently. We have a piece in our soul that needs it, don't we?

Thank you friend :)

Stanza 3 and 4 tore right through me, awesome.

"And what is our scent?
Fragrant years flung".

"Lifelines swaying from skies
signs of living  
as we die ".

and your username still drops
like bombs from the sky,
and that one puddle from Jurassic park number one
of the oncoming  fight for life that lay ahead.

well penned.