deepundergroundpoetry.com
Overrated Greatness
The simple turn of rhyme and word;
a meander down a pavement - petty
To destination undetermined
the cadence coddles - pointless, empty
Peppy stepping out from nothing;
nowhere waits, an evermore
States those nauseating postulations
and cutesy, cloying metaphors
My child mind was left a'wantin'
in sing-song puzzled inquiry
The drafty drift of lofty nonsense...
The mess of depthless injury
a meander down a pavement - petty
To destination undetermined
the cadence coddles - pointless, empty
Peppy stepping out from nothing;
nowhere waits, an evermore
States those nauseating postulations
and cutesy, cloying metaphors
My child mind was left a'wantin'
in sing-song puzzled inquiry
The drafty drift of lofty nonsense...
The mess of depthless injury
Published 20th Jun 2018
Author's Note
For the competition to express distaste for an overrated poem from the school years.
Ahhh..."Where The Sidewalk Ends"...I've never been a fan.
(I added it to the "Anger" genre because I'm not fucking joking. Ok?)
Ahhh..."Where The Sidewalk Ends"...I've never been a fan.
(I added it to the "Anger" genre because I'm not fucking joking. Ok?)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 7
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
20th Jun 2018 11:12am
The use of simple rhyme was originally there for the stories to be easily remembered. I do like a depth and layers in poetry.
Precisely! And in probably alone in disliking that particular work, because it was popular and well-loved for a reason.
I don't write children's poetry though, and I've actually tried, quite hard. I've been horribly unsuccessful at it, so I'm sure it says more about me and my broken mind than Shel 😆
My friends and husband said they got a lot out it growing up.
Did you like "Where The Sidewalk Ends"? Thanks for the comment! :)
I don't write children's poetry though, and I've actually tried, quite hard. I've been horribly unsuccessful at it, so I'm sure it says more about me and my broken mind than Shel 😆
My friends and husband said they got a lot out it growing up.
Did you like "Where The Sidewalk Ends"? Thanks for the comment! :)
20th Jun 2018 9:57pm
I don't think they are witty or funny at all. IMO it belittles the intelligence of a child.
Atomik, it does appear to have no substance. In my K-12 years I don't recall studying much poetry...only with my 7th grade witchy poo English teacher. Being a Spanish major in college I studied mostly Spanish poets, Lorca etc. You express well the inanity of the is sidewalk poem. Brava!
22nd Jun 2018 9:55pm
Yes! I was a little concerned that this was gonna ruffle too many feathers due to the potential nostalgia that folks have with that piece, but I had to do it 😆
That's quite excellent, I bet that had a significant influence in your love of poetry now? I wish I had had more exposure in college to great stuff, but my creative writing class was a total joke!
That's quite excellent, I bet that had a significant influence in your love of poetry now? I wish I had had more exposure in college to great stuff, but my creative writing class was a total joke!
Anonymous
- Edited 30th Jun 2018 8:19am
30th Jun 2018 8:16am
Oh your good.(clever so cliche) I nearly missed what you did and I loved Shel as a child, think music had more to do with my writing and dark arts books. I dispose rhymes and use English techniques unknowingly outta I assume learned behavior. Which is funny cause I hated school barely graduated and dropped out of college four times. I also loath the love people have for the simplicity of "standard" poetry and continually push outside the box and suffer in readership for it but fuck'em I'll be the one remembered after I'm dead.
4th Jul 2018 5:55am
