the meth diaries~the never ending struggle

 
tonight will be an all nighter
I snorted about ten dollars worth
one line is all it takes with ice
I've tried to quit but failed

it's not the pain
but the loss of the gifts
the ability to write
my mind flooded with ideas

when I come down i'm empty
couldn't put two words together if I tried
yeah I used to write without it
but then I was an alcoholic

I don't know what I am now
a lady stuck in a game
playing to stay alive
possessed with the need to create I press on

if one day my words were stolen
I don't know what I would do voiceless
it really hurts not to let things out

I wonder sometimes what i'm talking about
i'm so disconnected from my feelings
that I give them names and personalities
all to bring them to life

but we're on a prison visit
and they're stuck behind glass
I can see but not touch them

so when meth hits my receptors
they stop being real to me