trains and nightmares

 
the wallpaper is peeling
it's old, weathered  
it is reminiscent of our time together
and like the walls
our cracks are showing
 
we are masters of our destiny
then why do I think
I see tracks leading you away from me?
 
I walk steady and ahead of you
you watch me closely
sometimes I feel your intensity
then you fade
 
I turn back  
and it's just your silhouette I see
a thin wisp of smoke curls up
floating away on the night air
 
you vanish in front of me
and just like that I fall
because it was my belief in you  
that kept me on my feet
 
I find myself on a train
not knowing where i'm heading
a little girl lost
waiting for the conductor
to tell me where to get off
 
I sit in silence
with big tears rolling down my cheeks
but he just doesn't see me
I'm a ghost without a voice
 
and it frightens me
to know you've been the one
guiding me on this journey
 
this is where the clock quits ticking
 
my conductor is finished making his rounds
the train's final stop  
madness
and your nowhere to be found