there's not a line in the sand, there's an ocean

‍‍‍‍‍‍We created a lifetime
in our own time
and I was free
within our delusions
that raised us up in passion
and bled us dry with contempt

We could have lived there forever
if it hadn't been our fate
to destroy the things we love
yet we somehow found some middle ground
I thought was indelibly etched into our veins

I held you up against the currents
that ached to drown you
in their self-destructive rage
and you told me you loved me
more than I could ever know
as you held yourself in limbo
on this precipice of life

Perhaps it would be too cliche
to say that once upon a time
I would have died for you

You were the breath that gave me life
when I didn't realise I wasn't breathing

I never considered
that the tides might turn
and I would find myself staring
down my demons
and losing myself to their siren songs

I've never been so close to that edge
never had to fight so hard
to keep my own breath
and save myself from going under

And I never thought I'd have to ask myself
"where were you?"
when I couldn't fight the dark alone

I never thought you'd let me down
after I spent so much time lifting you up

We don't talk anymore
but I still wonder where you were
when I was falling apart

© Indie Adams 2018