Fear

Broken, shattered, scattered. This is all I could pen down.
Scattered dots on a plain paper as if they represent the broken peices of my heart. OR
Are they full stops that you put between us?

I so foolishly try to etch them together, still hoping that we could be what we were once again
My hand trembles, a heartache . Oh! So much pain
All I am left is with a broken heart with nothing to gain.

I am not the same writer anymore. Now words bleed
From my heart as if they are begging to end this suffering
Yet it stops on my fingertips no matter how hard I try
My fingers refuse to write something in which there's noYOU& I

Scripting them by punishing them, I feel
They're staring back at me
As if we're strangers
Reminding me of the day you set me free.

And sometimes by anxiety, when I dial your number randomly as I used to,
I realise old habbits die hard.
And I fear whether your voice will be the same or
It'll be more distant than the last time I heard you
But then there's also a ray, a ray of hope which encourages me
That you'll come back when you hear that love in my voice.
If you have any love left at all?

Some people say to give up some say to have hope
But what I feel is fear because you made me lose my will.
It's funny for the times that I broke myself to save you, you just came at me with a straight kill

This fear scares me, haunts me, daunts me like
I sleep in a graveyard each night
Hoping that you'll show affection once again
Come back to release my pain.

-Prateek Arora