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Insanity dwells in poetry
I wanted to tell a story
Of how I came to be where I am today
But you see it wasn’t my story
I wanted to paint a master piece
And hang it in a gallery for everyone to see
But remembered someone already did that
I went out and wanted to run around the world
Just like I used to
No wait, that was someone else too
Thought I might be losing my mind
Or already had
They told me I wasn’t original enough for that
Picked up my pen today and wrote something amazing
But it just didn’t feel good enough to share
Read the insanity of others, written into their poetry
And found that I wasn’t alone
I put my words out there with the rest of them
I became an original for the first time
With this beautiful insanity dwelling in my poetry too
Insanity distilled and shared
Wicked, twisted
Beautiful
This one’s for you Lord V. For your words of inspiration
Of how I came to be where I am today
But you see it wasn’t my story
I wanted to paint a master piece
And hang it in a gallery for everyone to see
But remembered someone already did that
I went out and wanted to run around the world
Just like I used to
No wait, that was someone else too
Thought I might be losing my mind
Or already had
They told me I wasn’t original enough for that
Picked up my pen today and wrote something amazing
But it just didn’t feel good enough to share
Read the insanity of others, written into their poetry
And found that I wasn’t alone
I put my words out there with the rest of them
I became an original for the first time
With this beautiful insanity dwelling in my poetry too
Insanity distilled and shared
Wicked, twisted
Beautiful
This one’s for you Lord V. For your words of inspiration
Published 16th Oct 2011
| Edited 18th Oct 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 2
comments 9
reads 1177
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
16th Oct 2011 4:51am
insanity in some form or another dwells in us all, it is however only the insanely talented who are able to properly put it into use.
I think you've rather creativly embodied that statement! nice work
I really like that line "I became an original for the first time" because for a large portion of my growing up years I felt like that was a constantly distancing feat to acheive. again very well done! I give you my applause.
I think you've rather creativly embodied that statement! nice work
I really like that line "I became an original for the first time" because for a large portion of my growing up years I felt like that was a constantly distancing feat to acheive. again very well done! I give you my applause.
16th Oct 2011 6:46am
I felt this way to for much of my life like all the good ideas have already been taken in one form or another and nothing could be original
but this insanity that pulls at the creative minds of all artists ..its a beautiful thing
but this insanity that pulls at the creative minds of all artists ..its a beautiful thing
16th Oct 2011 6:56am
Insanity does indeed dwell in poetry minds spinning and weaving..I love how you put this together in words and you are very original and stand out..peace Crim :)
16th Oct 2011 8:37pm
A lovely lucid rational piece of poetry delving into the design of insanity. The calm before the storm followed by the tearing of the curtain, unveiling a brand new blank canvas to work maniacal wonders on.
16th Oct 2011 8:47pm
my feelings exactly I'm glad you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it thank you Lord V for your words of inspiration
...if you are going to write this well, you should work on the last polishing of the piece to lift it even further. The theme and central ideas are good and solid, and to make it punch that extra bit, cut out the 'extra' words, and work out how to use your line breaks to help bang home the message...
Insanity dwells in poetry
wanted to tell a story
of how I came
to where I am today
But it wasn’t my story
wanted to paint a master piece
hang it in a gallery
for everyone to see
But then I remembered
someone already did that
went out
wanted to run around the world
just like I used to
No wait
that was someone else too
thought I might be losing my mind
or that maybe I already had
they told me I wasn’t original enough
to lose my mind
(it is my own preference to ditch any word that isn't required, and the word 'I' is a filthy traitor of a word...tends to bore a work to death. The line breaks should be, for my eyes, where the idea or sentence naturally breaks...helps the reader pause and think...maybe)
No feelings were intended to be hurt in the making of this critique.
HH.
Insanity dwells in poetry
wanted to tell a story
of how I came
to where I am today
But it wasn’t my story
wanted to paint a master piece
hang it in a gallery
for everyone to see
But then I remembered
someone already did that
went out
wanted to run around the world
just like I used to
No wait
that was someone else too
thought I might be losing my mind
or that maybe I already had
they told me I wasn’t original enough
to lose my mind
(it is my own preference to ditch any word that isn't required, and the word 'I' is a filthy traitor of a word...tends to bore a work to death. The line breaks should be, for my eyes, where the idea or sentence naturally breaks...helps the reader pause and think...maybe)
No feelings were intended to be hurt in the making of this critique.
HH.
16th Oct 2011 11:32pm
dont worry my feeling s aren't hurt but I do appreciate the tips on how to improve
sometimes what it should be in your head dosnt translate right to paper
I am glad over all however that you liked my work enough to take the time to read it
so thanks much
K and G
sometimes what it should be in your head dosnt translate right to paper
I am glad over all however that you liked my work enough to take the time to read it
so thanks much
K and G
oh yea no hard feelings I just think you wrote it wrong that's all...
fuck buddy way to spit on a piece of art! seriously who are you to just rewrite someone elses poetry like that?? do you think your like some kind of fuckin Stephen Hawking??
oh well you see class, if you take the square root of pi and divide it by the amount of intelligence I have over you it equals you all failed! see how that works?
seriously that was a really douchy comment and all I have to say is- damn buddy you've got balls to spit on somebody's soul like that! good going Picasso! you definitly won the biggest douche award of this commenting spree! please never critique any of my work. thanks
fuck buddy way to spit on a piece of art! seriously who are you to just rewrite someone elses poetry like that?? do you think your like some kind of fuckin Stephen Hawking??
oh well you see class, if you take the square root of pi and divide it by the amount of intelligence I have over you it equals you all failed! see how that works?
seriously that was a really douchy comment and all I have to say is- damn buddy you've got balls to spit on somebody's soul like that! good going Picasso! you definitly won the biggest douche award of this commenting spree! please never critique any of my work. thanks
18th Oct 2011 9:06pm
Hemi's advice seems reasonable to me. It falls easily within
the "The author encourages honest critique." category.
So, A_Nameless_Traveler, you should calm down.
If you really feel this way you should get back in kind:
Go do a re-write of Hemi's "Fuck you and your poetry"
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/16019-fuck-you-and-your-poetry/
P.S. Speaking for myself: I crave attention, anyone listening should feel free
to re-write ANYTHING you want. If you're willing to spend that much time on a poem
of mine, I promise to treat you with respect and LOVE YOU!
the "The author encourages honest critique." category.
So, A_Nameless_Traveler, you should calm down.
If you really feel this way you should get back in kind:
Go do a re-write of Hemi's "Fuck you and your poetry"
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/16019-fuck-you-and-your-poetry/
P.S. Speaking for myself: I crave attention, anyone listening should feel free
to re-write ANYTHING you want. If you're willing to spend that much time on a poem
of mine, I promise to treat you with respect and LOVE YOU!
