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Stardust.
Chasing starry night skies
To see the Milky Way
To light her melancholic mind
(Does she know
There’s stardust in her eyes)
Spastic seasons surround her
As she searches for her home
To call forever
(Does she know
Her home isn’t made of dirt)
Rattling bones of past hurts
Sway her fragile state
Ceaselessly
(Does she know
Bones always wither to dust)
Longing in her soul
As her need grows
To be known and loved
(Does she know
Agape flows in her heart)
So here I am
Chasing starry night skies
Hoping for the day
That maybe she’ll know
There’s stardust in her eyes
To see the Milky Way
To light her melancholic mind
(Does she know
There’s stardust in her eyes)
Spastic seasons surround her
As she searches for her home
To call forever
(Does she know
Her home isn’t made of dirt)
Rattling bones of past hurts
Sway her fragile state
Ceaselessly
(Does she know
Bones always wither to dust)
Longing in her soul
As her need grows
To be known and loved
(Does she know
Agape flows in her heart)
So here I am
Chasing starry night skies
Hoping for the day
That maybe she’ll know
There’s stardust in her eyes
Published 9th Mar 2018
Author's Note
My first poem ever. Be gentle. It kinda sucks, but I’ve been meaning to write this for a while.
To the girl with stardust in her eyes.
To the girl with stardust in her eyes.
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9th Mar 2018 9:55pm
Nice flow with this one. Really like the parenthetical thoughts throughout. Also the bookending with the final stanza to the first provided nice symmetry.
10th Mar 2018 2:32am
Small bit of advice, never apologise not only for yourself but also for trying something new, how else to grow and learn. Keep being brave and enriching yourself. I could relate with many aspects of your work, it's good to know I'm not alone in my battle's of strife. Excellent first attempt in my opinion. Sincerely,
Shadow_Dancer
Welcome to DU by the way!
Shadow_Dancer
Welcome to DU by the way!
10th Mar 2018 4:42am
I agree with Shadow_Dancer. Never apologize for your art. It is yours and can be whatever you want it to be.
As far as the piece itself is concerned it's actually quite good. I feel the gravity and depth of longing in it. You've done an excellent job at conveying the deep feelings here. Nicely done.
As far as the piece itself is concerned it's actually quite good. I feel the gravity and depth of longing in it. You've done an excellent job at conveying the deep feelings here. Nicely done.
