My Anxiety

I'm sorry if you're trying to prove yourself
Yet I still behave with hesitance
Anxiety makes things hard to believe
No matter the amounts of evidence
My anxiety is my dominatrix
Its manipulative and vindictive
It shape shifts, smears, and distorts
The simplest situations and images
Your frustration that you're having?
It transforms it into hate and rejection
You've been busy for 2 hours?
It turns it into another session of depression
Have you forgotten me?
What if you decide to never come back?
My anxiety worries about the fall of the glass so much
It creates mental cracks
So I shatter on the inside
Then discover that it's all for nothing
Screaming fire in the movie theater
Just to find out, it's bluffing
So please bear with me
I'm trying to release my brain from these chains
I'm sorry if I don't believe all the "I love you too's"
My anxiety says you could never feel the same
It isolates and detaches me
Changes vivid colors and makes them dull
Stops me from verbally speaking this shit to you
To the point where I want a bullet through my skull
Where I feel the pressure on my chest
And I can no longer breathe
When my whole body starts heating up
Even though it's only 11 degrees
I need air, oxygen..
Anxiety and panic attacks
No vivid colors, grey, or dull
Because my vision's become black
What brought this on?
Just the thought of being without you for any duration
Damn these invisible prints around my neck
From my anxiety's strangulation..
What a control freak.