'Pin Drop'

Sometimes silence says so much ... nice poem PD.

Sadly for me it inspires alot of noise in my mind...thank you, grateful always for the support...

I missed it also. Had to settle for old hip hop vids and other misc. entertainment for the evening.

Nice poem, whether it pertained to the poetic MIA's voices or not.

Thank u sweetness...grateful always

“As I, gnaw in futility at hope
for a grander ledge to behold...”

Ting! This flows with such sensation poet, I love your style and it really works well with this expression. From top to bottom truly felt this, thank you for sharing such a work of art! =)

Aaaawwwww.... you wonderful, sweet woman...I'm flattered...for your praise n RL add...truly n always grateful... :)

Your expressions floods my mind with your work of words..

Nice :)

Love
H

Your words have the same effect on me
soooooo you know how it feels woman :)
Thank u so much, deeply appreciate your support...

Wonderful pown, PoetikOne. I was going to point out the exact lines Gem did. You requested honest Critique, and I want to Honor that because this one is too good to let go by:  

'Pin Drop'

The haggard cold, chases  
spiralin' flushes of ember  
throughout the corridor of  
thy soul  

( Excellent stanza )

As I, gnaw in futility at hope  
for a grander ledge to behold...  

N' even though voices cascade  
within these fragile capillaries,  
ricochettin' it's resilience...  

( because you're ending the previous couplet with an ellipses followed by capitalized abbreviation, I suggest either removing the ellipses ( because the following stanza ends with one ), or lowercasing the abbreviation for a fluid flow. Is also lose that comma after capillaries in L2, as there already exists a natural pause. I'd end the stanza with a semi to connect the following, as the space provides the pause. Lastly, 'its' ( frig'n auto-correct gotcha. ) )


The hollowed irises, battle  
tumultuous storms, for any  
semblance of sound, to  
quiet the deafenin' silence...

( I'd definitely lose the commas in L1, L2,  and L3, as they interrupt the flow.  Or you could rearrange the lines for emphasis.  

This ellipses is perfectly placed. )  

Again, great poem.  

 

I did not mean for that N to stay capitalized so Yea... lol n as for those commas, well sometimes I'm not paying attention to how all these transpose in format from the phone lol but thanks sweetheart, will fix asap...n huge thanks for the support always :)  

Silence can be so powerful. I love P. Great poem!

Agree completely... Can be! thank u HQ, ur a doll n I appreciate the RL add n you always :)

My DUP wordsmith just carved another beauty! Xo Missed ya!

Wow...my sweet Rain has returned!...missed you too my dear n your so very much endearing thoughts...appreciate u always :)

I truly admire your writing...so gracefully penned.  Well done.
Love this:
for any
semblance of sound, to
quiet the deafenin' silence...
Oh how I know that silence well.
Much love,
Mel

Yea, sorry to hear that you do my dearest...I'm grateful though for the thoughts n support :)

yes !

youve ef'fed me up again, im just gonna stay away from
your page,  

how about that? hmph ...(rolls eyes - slams door)



---i really dont mean that, its my emotional softness speaking for being touched where it hurts most

Aaawww...well if u leaving, take my coat n put it on the bed please becuz I get cold too u know lol...  thank u sweetheart, I'm honored n grateful always :)

"The haggard cold, chases  
spiralin' flushes of ember  
throughout the corridor of  
thy soul"  
Wow, how could you come up with such expression like that. The overwhelming bitterness of cold is unbearable....love every word of this work.

I know not what I'm going to say til 'it' strikes me...but I'm happy you enjoyed it my sweetness ...thank you, very much appreciate the continued support :)

Thank you my sweetness...appreciate you much. :)

Your style has triggered something in my mind...marvelous work of art.

Aaawwww... That's wonderful... I love the thought of inspiring, so I hope it's that :)...thank u for your thoughts, time, n adding me to ur followed poets list... :)

I actually really love this one, good job :)

Wow I'm so sorry never even saw this comment til now... but truly, I'm grateful
n appreciate your kind words :)