small talk

meaningless conversation makes my heart
and stomach full,
starving myself for a bit of control--always giving in
i'm a mouthful, i'm a spoonful of caustic wit
my friends sit in silence and grab hold of life
while i talk trash to fill the gaps and wait for life
to come to my bedside
i wanna walk aimlessly through the mall
till i'm 25
i'm wasting, i'm fading, i'm falling
behind
the surface is easier--let's make small talk
till we never see each other again and live through the television
spread my body on the sidewalks
let me float above the subdivisions
and chain restaurants
to the edge of my world
about 12 miles from here
i'm small enough to disappear.