This life is not meant for me

Life is not how it used to be.
I was a good kid.
I wasn't in the streets
Life took a turn
360
Every so often
Im just ready to be put in a coffin.
This life is not meant for me.
Crisis after crisis
I need to remain on top
Everything is happening at once
I can't make it stop
I open my eyes wide
See everything in front of me
This life is not made for me
Im tired of life's "surprises"
Everyone else cant see, what I see.
I wish they could.
Still trying to pursue my dreams
But things need to fall into place first.
I wish things pick up the pace.
I can mask the "happy" but people cant see.. This life is not meant for me.
Meds force me to think straight, Drugs make me lose weight.
I hate that i look forward to my death. Is all of life worth the wait ?
We shall see , this life is not meant for me.