Life is not how it used to be. I was a good kid. I wasn't in the streets Life took a turn 360 Every so often Im just ready to be put in a coffin. This life is not meant for me. Crisis after crisis I need to remain on top Everything is happening at once I can't make it stop I open my eyes wide See everything in front of me This life is not made for me Im tired of life's "surprises" Everyone else cant see, what I see. I wish they could. Still trying to pursue my dreams But things need to fall...
What I wrote before overdosing on my medication Sept. 12, 2017
I hate my life Where is the knife Fuck it I need to get high Im out of this world And out of my mind ...... I WAS ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL THEN A MENTAL INSTITUTE. PUT LIFE IN A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE BUT THE NEW MEDS HELP BALANCE MY MIND OUT . BUT DEATH WILL ALWAYS BE A GUARANTEE IN THIS LIFE.
My time is wasting like a burning cigarette . Trying to live life with no regrets. I regret the time i had , I could've spent. Pick it up Take it Breathe it in Let it choke me Let it mold me Dont forget to catch my breath Living in sin Who cares about death When death seems the best I got to get this off my chest I sin everyday but i feel blessed Long live the rest But my exit is next. Im going to level up Without bad habits, This life sucks. The only way for me is up.
Hours of sitting, Looking forward to quitting. Everything. Leaves me to wonder on things that dwell in my mind. Everyday. I sit and think, letting myself sink. I want to do more but where do I start? So much to do, I can't keep up with falling apart. I feel stuck or trapped inside. My eyes want to cry. All I want to do is try. When it feels like, I’ve come prepared, fully aware. Time flies when you desire to die. Just trying to get by, saying, “Hi!” to everyone so they think you are alive. But why? Do I...
People filling up this space from multiplying these children of sin. We fall from grace giving life to vermin who don't belong in this place. For your own personal greed, we have too many mouths to feed. We cry when they die but their life was always a lie. Don't give life if you don't have one, Us kids desire to be gone.
Colors are bleeding from your skin, Left you melting in sin. The warmth I had inside has grown dim. Bounded in your world of grey, Why am I the one to pay? And I pray that I find my saving grace. Turned to look in the mirror to find my face.
Blame the birds and the bees, For always being fr-enemies. The birds have gone away, And so the bees have drowned. I can't be the reason, For the change of the season. Don’t blame God for all the ups, That we have sent, That came crashing down.
Held this blade against the veins that surfaces on my wrist. Just one or two slits and it will all come out. The pain, The lies, The truth, The love, the Hate. Take this flowing blood and draw my darling a picture. Upon the canvas where my fed up heart pulses its last pulse.