mongrel

     
I don’t like him    
never did    
but that doesn’t matter    
what matters is he’s fucking me    
holding out on the one bit of paper I need      
to make the final claim    
for the work we’ve done    
     
millions riding on it    
and my neck    
   
a man in my seat    
has to know how to close    
   
has been this way 11 months    
     
have had all the meetings    
his people    
my people    
lawyers    
official letters    
     
so brought him in to my office    
     
him    
my people    
in the boardroom    
and they try to work it out    
     
I sit beside him    
body turned toward him    
say nothing    
wait    
     
he starts on the usual      
“I need more time”    
“I’ll have to take legal advice”    
“there are things you don’t understand”    
     
I wait    
let my heart rate rise    
feel my body tense    
     
not yet    
     
my people stay calm    
doing their jobs    
trying reason    
logic    
quoting clauses    
     
he starts to talk again      
same angles    
same noises    
     
and finally it’s enough    
     
I explode    
cut him off    
good old fashioned abuse    
lean in to him    
yell/spit/swear    
bang the table    
he jumps in his chair    
everyone does    
and through the wall    
the whole office goes quiet    
     
I don’t care    
     
just him and me now    
schoolyard shit    
   
he’s out of shape    
almost faceless      
nothing to me    
has never been in a fight in his life    
     
he tries to speak    
used to reasonable men    
I cut him off again    
“I don’t give a fuck….”    
     
give him no room    
dare him to try it again    
     
everyone in the room now staring at their hands    
     
just him and me    
and he shows fear    
the fear of someone who knows bullies    
can see it in him    
he shuffles in his seat    
confrontation not his world    
then he folds    
lip drops    
tears    
I stay on him    
no kindness    
no pity    
     
“Sign. The. Fucking. Piece. Of. Paper”    
     
silence    
     
then he mumbles it    
I make him say it again    
and then again    
     
drive shame in to him    
     
and it’s done    
     
he reaches across    
     
picks up a pen    
     
signs the papers    
     
     
     
I tell him to get out    
     
and they all rise    
walk out    
church quiet    
someone puts an arm around him    
     
I sit alone    
door closed    
thirty seats in an empty board-room    
     
victory    
     
dirty    
ugly      
victory    
     
but victory    
all the same    
     
I smile    
 
it’s cruel    
almost a baring of lips    
     
     
     
after    
I leave    
go walk in the park    
     
there are kids playing    
the new war memorial reflects the bright winter sun    
     
I take my shoes off    
feel the grass on my feet    
 
nothing is good