My Only Accomplice

Pinned to me like a coffee stain
As if I needed any reminder
The night was to be barely blamed
The mind – such a wicked liar!

The games we play
The stories me make
The things we say
For sanity’s sake

I don’t know what I’m capable of
I don’t wish to know either
I don’t think I can ever be sure
Perpetually confused; was never a believer

My inability to pick a side
My inability to not confide
My inability to not to revisit that moment
My inability to care about atonement

How do I get rid of this aching urge?
This aching urge to fuck it all up
How do I avoid the feeling to indulge?
Failed attempts to straighten up

Sometimes I wonder
Wonder what that says about me
Not that I care
But then who are you to judge
I choose to be free

She is more alive than me
The refreshing version of me
We talk and grin
Together we sin
Don’t judge her
Go easy on her
For she knows no better
My dear aching urge
My only accomplice.