Whirlpool Of Me

Hours of sitting,
Looking forward to quitting.
Everything.
Leaves me to wonder on things that dwell in my mind.  
Everyday.
I sit and think, letting myself sink.
I want to do more but where do I start?
So much to do, I can't keep up with falling apart.
I feel stuck or trapped inside.
My eyes want to cry.  
All I want to do is try.
When it feels like, I’ve come prepared, fully aware.
Time flies when you desire to die.
Just trying to get by, saying, “Hi!” to everyone so they think you are alive.
But why?
Do I care?
As I stare, what’s in front of me, with a blank expression.
Colors can’t fly when you deal with depression.  
Don’t forget your meds, or you will get lost in your head.
Having to pretend, having to make amends, trying to make friends.
I am looking forward to the end.
There is a lot to take in, not enough to give to benefits those around me.  
At least, that’s what I see.  
I see.
Your pain under your skin, it stains.  
I rather you not feel the same.  
A masterpiece, on display, in a frame.
To distract you from your reality.
Look! Close your eyes.
Could you tell me what was imperfect?  
I am the one to blame for going insane.  
While you’re telling me I have a purpose.  
How can I reset something that was never set to begin with?
Living day by day is your best bet.
Letting go of your regrets.
I rather be a threat!
I figured out why I like the dark side.  
My second home.  
Where I am made of stone.
I couldn’t feel alone with my pride by my side.  
How can I develop?
When I feel like my life was a set up.
Damaged or engaged.  
I walk the fine line.
Purposely ignoring the signs,
Race to the invisible prize.  
What I missed, call it ignorant bliss.  
But I’ll be damned to go blind.
Is this what makes me Sublime?
I am sorry.
We are out of time.
I can’t fully explain especially in rhyme.  
Just rem
ember,
ILL ALWAYS BE FINE!!