Now I Am Grown

Graduated, leaving home at seventeen
Residing at the beach, always was my dream
 
Decision to postpone a higher degree
Experience of east coast shores; here I can be free
 
Working odd jobs, earning feeble pay
Grateful for the sun on horizon every day
 
Bathing in the sunshine with eyes upon the sea
Knowing there is no place I would rather be
 
Sounds of crashing waves echo in my ears
Recounting fond memories from earlier years
 
Swimming through ocean water, sensing its embrace
A sentiment of peace in my costal place
 
Sun kissed skin, a balanced, thriving feel
Wondering if contentment, truly could be real
 
Then the news arrives
Grandmother is unwell
Cancer spreading quickly
On my knees I fell
 
Packing in a rush
Barely seeing through tears
Trying hard to take a breath
Processing my fears
 
Despite past disapproval
Resentments put aside
Mum will not be strong
She’ll need me at her side
 
I return to the home
Where once I said goodbye
I grieve and mourn two losses
As I watch her die
 
Now I clearly understand
What it is to be grown
To sacrifice for another
A peace that I had known