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Love Unknowingly
Sunday dawns new
May we again speak?
Long ago we died
Opposite sides of
What we knew as pride
White feathered dove
Interpose within my love
My great feeling of affection
Once I was ever so close
Break me with a tear
A year spent apart
What have you to say
Once you've given birth
To a new mirror-image
But how could it be
Beautiful and free
Once I have died
Come tickle my grave
Laughing with burned lungs
Menthol ashes on the grass
Covering my nude decompose
Rotting within my clothes
Where I be lay
At peace to rest
Whenever the day
How could I fear
How could I faint
Into the great white
Off a short ledge
Into the great blue
Of the sea flowing
Over the great headstone
Looking over my body
pouring us into our home.
May we again speak?
Long ago we died
Opposite sides of
What we knew as pride
White feathered dove
Interpose within my love
My great feeling of affection
Once I was ever so close
Break me with a tear
A year spent apart
What have you to say
Once you've given birth
To a new mirror-image
But how could it be
Beautiful and free
Once I have died
Come tickle my grave
Laughing with burned lungs
Menthol ashes on the grass
Covering my nude decompose
Rotting within my clothes
Where I be lay
At peace to rest
Whenever the day
How could I fear
How could I faint
Into the great white
Off a short ledge
Into the great blue
Of the sea flowing
Over the great headstone
Looking over my body
pouring us into our home.
Published 10th Mar 2017
| Edited 11th Mar 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 1
comments 10
reads 732
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
10th Mar 2017 10:35am
I have lots of imagery popping into my head when reading this poem...a man leaving his beloved...:) anonshadow. But its merely my interpretation.
11th Mar 2017 6:34am
Always enjoy hearing peoples interpretation. Really glad you liked my piece. Always an honor to see you stop by, Grace. ~anonshadow😏
Anonymous
- Edited 27th Dec 2019 12:45pm
10th Mar 2017 10:49am
<< post removed >>
11th Mar 2017 6:46am
Thank you, Amelia. Such kind words, I truly appreciate it. Happy you enjoyed it so much!:) ~anonshadow😏
10th Mar 2017 11:44am
11th Mar 2017 7:11am
Thank you very much, KD! I really appreciate your reading and commenting!:) ~anonshadow😏
This is a stunning piece of work, Anon.
I know you've requested honest critique and I want to honor that, but the only thing I can really suggest is a space between "Whenever the day" and "How could I fear". There's a tad of muddling in that area; however, the verse as a whole is wondrously indicative of classic poetry.
I know you've requested honest critique and I want to honor that, but the only thing I can really suggest is a space between "Whenever the day" and "How could I fear". There's a tad of muddling in that area; however, the verse as a whole is wondrously indicative of classic poetry.
11th Mar 2017 7:19am
Thank you, Ahavati. Thank you for the critique, it was a small thing but I really think it improved it. Thank you very, very much for reading and leaving your thoughts. Really glad you enjoyed it:) ~anonshadow😏
11th Mar 2017 4:14pm
Congratulations! This poem has been nominated for Deep Underground Poetry's Featured Poem of the Month Competition. You may view the nomination at the link below, and will be notified if selected.
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/9494/
Best of Luck and thank you for being a member of the Deep Side!
https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/forum/competitions/read/9494/
Best of Luck and thank you for being a member of the Deep Side!
12th Mar 2017 5:16am
