deepundergroundpoetry.com
Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
Love is a charcoal painting, bruises on the flesh of lovers
Stained in carnal shades of passion, we suffer
Ballads of thieves and beggars, poems written in a dream
Desperate kisses in the rain, wrapped in a silvered moonbeam
Twilight prisoner, who makes a prison of the heart
Desire is a firestorm, the ashes limn exquisite art
Tomorrow's sunset is far away and serenity is gone in a single day
Stars are made of lover's tears, the path is long, they light the way
Petitions are written on the wind, traced in the desert's sand
Never meant to be held, the finest grains leave empty hands
Blues for the broken on a mournful steel guitar
A dance for the lonely in a smoke tarnished bar
Cry for the revenant lies of a long lost lover
A heart turned to stone can't belong to another
Stained in carnal shades of passion, we suffer
Ballads of thieves and beggars, poems written in a dream
Desperate kisses in the rain, wrapped in a silvered moonbeam
Twilight prisoner, who makes a prison of the heart
Desire is a firestorm, the ashes limn exquisite art
Tomorrow's sunset is far away and serenity is gone in a single day
Stars are made of lover's tears, the path is long, they light the way
Petitions are written on the wind, traced in the desert's sand
Never meant to be held, the finest grains leave empty hands
Blues for the broken on a mournful steel guitar
A dance for the lonely in a smoke tarnished bar
Cry for the revenant lies of a long lost lover
A heart turned to stone can't belong to another
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
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comments 18
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The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
6th Feb 2017 1:11pm
I can distinguish between the two voices, yet they intermingle as one. Beautifully done, you two.
2
Re: Re. Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
7th Feb 2017 3:34am
Re. Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
6th Feb 2017 1:19pm
love & art & poetry are beautiful troublemakers, Kas;
we do the things that co-conspirators do
when they've painted the bruises of love in a poem...
we do the things that co-conspirators do
when they've painted the bruises of love in a poem...
1
Re: Re. Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
6th Feb 2017 1:43pm
Very beautiful, John, and so much fun. We'll have to conspire more often, see how much trouble we can make and paint another work of art...
Re. Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
6th Feb 2017 2:20pm
A brilliant piece of beauty...Your ending stanza and final couplet were over the top...Well done
2
Re: Re. Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
7th Feb 2017 3:28am
Re. Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
6th Feb 2017 2:55pm
Kasai, ever the evolving
John the Master...Superb mind mixin heart poetry!! Bravo you two :)
John the Master...Superb mind mixin heart poetry!! Bravo you two :)
2
Re: Re. Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
7th Feb 2017 9:35am
Re. Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
Anonymous
6th Feb 2017 3:42pm
Truly exquisite.
Beautiful ink.
Beautiful ink.
2
Re: Re. Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
7th Feb 2017 9:38am
Re. Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
6th Feb 2017 5:43pm
you both are so very talented I love this.. your passion makes for pure poetic artistry..
love Crim
love Crim
2
Re: Re. Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
7th Feb 2017 9:37am
Anonymous
- Edited 27th Dec 2019 12:45pm
6th Feb 2017 7:26pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
7th Feb 2017 9:57am
Anonymous
- Edited 21st Sep 2020 1:45pm
7th Feb 2017 10:15am
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
7th Feb 2017 11:59am
I agree, that was an amazing line; John deserves the credit for that one. He has a very unique way with words that makes it such a pleasure to work with him. Thanks for such a great comment...
Re. Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
8th Feb 2017 9:08am
An excellent collaboration, and one which taught me a new word in "limn". I shan't speculate on who wrote what; I will, however, say that I loved the internal rhymes and general singsong rhythm of the piece, and the sharp, jazzy images, redolent of bars and jazz music.
2
Re: Re. Sonnet: Troublemaker (Collaboration with John Feddeler)
9th Feb 2017 8:45am
Thanks for another amazing comment, we had a lot of fun writing this one. It just seemed to flow easily in the direction of its own choosing. And that word, 'limn', was a pleasant surprise along the way...