death

I miss your calloused hands..
on strings
pulling music from that old guitar
I named jolene

I miss your arms around me
my head tucked into your chest
My safe place..
you were sunshine
you were rest

I wish... Oh god I wish I could wrap these words in lace
but your gone.
oh so gone
there's no way to escape.

I've written death a hundred times.
It came dripping from my pen
in poetry it was romantic
"And so the bloom hath faded from your cheek"
but death
real death is brutal

it's my silent phone,
waiting for a text
and the messages you sent
just like you never left

it's a thousand whispered platitudes
because they don't know what to say
until your all whitewashed
as if you weren't imperfect

Death is your body condensed into
a vile of ash
I know it was a shell
but it's a shell that I want back
it's tears that mingle with my pillows
in three a.m silence
and how moving on feels like shedding skin
after skin
because even if I want to
I can't see you again.