Nominal

I hate writing poetry on paper
And I hate how you don't understand
And I hate how my lowly mellow heart can hate so much
And I hate how hard it is to rhyme
And spell
And speak
And breathe
And I hate how you can read what I wright  but it is just words to you
No meaning, black letters, white spaces
Well to me they are a symphony
With a hidden depth that only I know
In name but not in reality
NOMINAL
that is what I am
My name means wisdom but I am not
I am not defined by a name but rather character
CHARACTER
that I do not have
I don't even know you the "you" I write to is
Who the "you" that I tell my deepest thoughts to
Who am I
The character not the name
They say character is who you are when no one is watching
But I am always watching myself
Waiting to find character
Because there is no me but stained impression of another person
There is no me without day dreams and hopes of a more understanding aura
There is no me without you
If only I knew who you are