Submissions by 0__0Sophia0__0

I was first born but I am second best
She's given all the keys to sicsess    
And I can't even get help studying for a test
Yes I was first born but I am second best
The way they look at meThey are so unimpressed
But I'm the only one helping with the mortgage
I am first born
I'm too old for this shit
But I'm treated like a second class citizen
I don't get the slightest bit of attention
She cries she whines
She's full of pride
I hide
Because it's hard to stay alive
I hide
Behind curtains of emotional neglect ...

I am stuck in my own way
And I will never move
I will never shift slightly so I can get through
You can push me
You can shove me
But I will never budge
Because my stubborn self
Will never even lunge
I have goals just like you
But they will never be achieved
Because the leap of faith in change
Is simply too much for me
And I could put my self out there
Great things would happen if I did
But I never will
For fear that I would end up dead

Everywhere I look
I see empty shopping carts
Crusing almost ghostly
Through the isles of my heart
Because my brain is empty
No it dosent have a thought
Like the shelves in the isles
There is nothing to be bought
And I drift through the nothingness
I just want to feel somethingness
Slap me lightly
Tap me more like
But you always always miss
I'm so mad but not really
I'm so sad but it's not coming in clearly
I'm so happy but I can't seem to smile
Gosh I haven't been happy in awhile

I hate writing poetry on paper
And I hate how you don't understand
And I hate how my lowly mellow heart can hate so much
And I hate how hard it is to rhyme
And spell
And speak
And breathe
And I hate how you can read what I wright  but it is just words to you
No meaning, black letters, white spaces
Well to me they are a symphony
With a hidden depth that only I know
In name but not in reality
NOMINAL
that is what I am
My name means wisdom but I am not
I am not defined by a name but rather character
CHARACTER
that I do...