Daisies

I can't decide
Or breath
Or be myself around you
For moments at a time

I miss being real
And really young
With you
Playing in daisy fields
In our homespun youth
Counting pedals

You had a duty
To be older
But now we drift apart
Like two planets
Away from the warmth
Of our second sun
And you grow cold
Around your edges
Like a frostbitten glove

We lost touch
And lives pine away

This bothers
Sensitive parts
Of my humanity
Because you know me
And you're family
And I don't care for diatribe
Or neurotic function
I just want to be your friend
And be apart of your world

Your force
Your emotional pull
With words
Lessens my ability
To explain myself
When you fly off the handle
And become selfish
You take away the piece of me
that planted daisies with you

In spite of age
I feel lost around you
I come for a visit
And I feel like your estranged
From my advances
To absorb your gravity

I can't decide
To breath around you anymore
If you act in such a way
I can't hold things accountable
For our unsung distances
And playful battles
Past childhood

I can't be
Myself
Without second guessing
Who I should be
Around you
And your gravity
And your new life
And your happy home