I loved you

 I love you,
But you hurt me. You confuse me.....
I think about you all the time. I can't seem to get you off my mind.
I sit here and reminisce,
About the time you gave my soul a kiss.
You came to me in my time of need,
I knew it was a bad idea indeed.
I was in a hole and all was dark,
But you lit up my world with  just one spark.
I wasn't supposed to catch feelings, and neither were you,
Now what are we supposed to do?
These feelings suck, I want them to go away,
But good god damn, they're here to stay.
You hid them well, still do to this day,
I know you're not in it just for the lay.

I wish things were different, and didn't end the way they did.
I should have known better-wait scratch that I did.
I knew better I had a clue,
I just couldn't walk away and forget you.
But I opened my eyes and I knew,
That things couldn't be what I wanted them to.
I walked away when you said you didn't want me to stay,
But I don't think that was the hardest day.
The hardest was when you said to me,
That you regretted the decision of you and me.
What did I do to deserve words like this?
I should've known tho, it was part of the risk.
People leave me all the time,
I knew you weren't different, it was coming in time.
You moved away, it was better that way,
Although I wished so much for you to stay.
Days went by, it got better, it did.
Then it all started once again.
We went to the casino so you could play,
I know you stayed with me so you could get laid.
We were supposed to go camping the very next night,
But you got real weird I knew you'd take flight.
You hurt me again, left me alone in the dark,
Waiting for your ex girlfriend to come and park.
I knew it was happening, I saw it all through,
Just like I was supposed to do.
Why do you hurt me?
What do I do?
I'm ALWAYS the one who's there for you.
I wish I was the one you'd finally let in,
To help, to love, to hold,
Excuse me if I'm being bold.
Fuck me I don't know what to do,
When you say the sweet things you do.
I know it won't be long until you pull the next fucked shit,
You can't help but to do
Maybe one day you'll realize
That I really do, love you.