Sam Cam

Sam Cam what did you do?
Baked cakes on the telly
Made the tea (once)
At election time  
Tell us your husband was great  
Made sure you wore designer clothes
On every date
Fronted up a business so  
Your husband could tell us the  
Economy had not laid waste
 
You never spoke (bit like ‘Princess Kate’)
Never cared
About those who are struggling  
In so many ways  
We never saw you helping the poor  
Petitioning your husbands or his
Insidious globalisation friends  
To help keep the wolves from our door  
 
And as for those tax haves....no
Think what you could have done for this country  
Also supposed to be yours
With your unrestricted access  
To the world of the important  
And all that pillow talk....  
 
But maybe we never got to see
What use you could really be  
If only your dear husband had been caught
With his pants down
Maybe a prossie, a rent boy
Or one of your own  
 
When you would have been  
Right at the fore  
Convincing us that your husband was  
A wonderful man  
Ready, willing and capable  
To lead the country once more  
 
But there you were  
On DC’s last day
Designer dress
Head on one side
Eyes sad
Looking concerned  
 
Sam Cam  
If that’s all you’re good for  
Let me say  
I’m glad that both you and your husband  
Have been sent on their way
Because if that’s all you can do  
As a British woman
You’ve failed!  
 
Anna Archichek