Join the Tory Party!

Do you want to
Break the law
Evade your taxes (legally)
Rob the poor?

Do you want to
Live a life
That’s not
Morally right?

Do you want to
Buy a cut price slice of
Our public sector
And for tax reasons

Register it offshore
In the name of your dog Hector
Knowing the Inland Revenue
Will never get you?

Do you want to
Change the law?
Well that’s what lobbying is for
Means you’re guaranteed
To get your way over the poor,
Because you’re worth more!

Do you want to
Re-start everyone
On a no-future zero hours deal
Because that’s just the way you feel?

Do you want to
Lie, cheat and steal?
Or take other people’s money
Out of their pension scheme?

Do you think it’s a good idea
To send your kids to a posh school
Ensuring the next generation
Turn out c*nts like you?

Or do you have a penchant
For downloading pics
Of other people’s kids
And when the sh*t hits the fan
Don’t worry, it’s not the end  
Remember you’re one of us
My Tory friend!

Do you think
Democracy should be
Just a myth for the plebs
To believe in?

Do you suffer from afluentitus?
Well we’ll work for you
(and not for them)
That’s the Tory way my friend!

Do you want all this
Yet aspire to have
A corporate wife
And the well turned out
Appearance of a legitimate life?

Whatever it is
We’re here for you
In return for party membership
And a large ‘donation’, of course  
(Because we’re also greedy c*nts)

So now you’ve found
You’re natural political home
Don’t delay!
Join the Tory Party today!


Anna Archichek