deepundergroundpoetry.com
Let the Chips Fall
Just for tonight
let's not pretend
not hide behind that word
friend
strip this down
throw out the cards
and lay ourselves on the table
turned
lazy Suzan style
so we can finally
raise the stakes
cash in
for what it is
we really want
I shuffle up to you
your legs splayed
grab your cock
squeeze it tight
as we eye one another
no need to look for tells
I say
Mine
you lean forward
grab my ass
pull me in closer
Mine
I bend to your mouth
and we begin
our dance
for dominance
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 6
reading list entries 0
comments 13
reads 978
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Let the Chips Fall
Anonymous
1st Jun 2016 7:27am
Sounds like everybody is a winner.
0
Re: Re. Let the Chips Fall
2nd Jun 2016 2:10am
Re. Let the Chips Fall
1st Jun 2016 10:07am
Re: Re. Let the Chips Fall
2nd Jun 2016 2:12am
Lol, if you're talking orgy, that could be fun as well. If you're talking kids, uh, no!
Re. Let the Chips Fall
2nd Jun 2016 1:21am
Re: Re. Let the Chips Fall
2nd Jun 2016 2:18am
Re. Let the Chips Fall
Anonymous
3rd Jun 2016 4:29am
I like this; it's a fun read.
I just have one suggestion–dropping the 'with' from here:
I shuffle up to you with
your legs splayed
It reads a bit oddly to me, and 'with' doesn't seem necessary.
I just have one suggestion–dropping the 'with' from here:
I shuffle up to you with
your legs splayed
It reads a bit oddly to me, and 'with' doesn't seem necessary.
0
Re: Re. Let the Chips Fall
3rd Jun 2016 5:35pm
Yeah, I was trying to hard to break up the you/your. Ditched "with" will think about a replacement for "your" maybe 'sitting, legs splayed'. Lol, that might be too much sass...
Thanks for the look out, glad you enjoyed it. You a card player?
Thanks for the look out, glad you enjoyed it. You a card player?
Re: Re. Let the Chips Fall
Anonymous
3rd Jun 2016 8:58pm
I think the you/your is fine. Visually similar, but they sound different, and there's a little mental beat after 'you' that keeps them from running into each other too quickly. At least, the way I read it there is.
I'm a game player, and the occasional game of cards has slipped in over the years. :-)
I'm a game player, and the occasional game of cards has slipped in over the years. :-)
0
Re. Let the Chips Fall
7th Jun 2016 4:12am
very hot and sexy visuals Vixen... wonderful talent with the pen... keep flowing that fire :D
0
Re: Re. Let the Chips Fall
7th Jun 2016 5:50am
Re. Let the Chips Fall
26th Jun 2016 2:24am
Lazy Susan Style ............. lovely phrase ........ smouldering write.....
0
Re. Let the Chips Fall
17th Aug 2016 11:52am
Dance for dominance! Seems very playful.
I shuffle up to you
your legs splayed
grab your cock (This part is fun, i can just imagine the playful, lip biting grin on her face at this moment)
Love it!
I shuffle up to you
your legs splayed
grab your cock (This part is fun, i can just imagine the playful, lip biting grin on her face at this moment)
Love it!
0