Writers block...

I am writer, it is my way to express my feelings and take what I have deep inside of me out in the open, work on them and eventually solve them, but for some time now I can't write shit, I start thinking of something to write, but something won't let me. It is suffocating like the hand of a dark ghost grappling my neck squeezing my life essence out of me day by day. I can't fight it, I am left completely paralyzed like I live a recurring nightmare over and over again... I lost weight, I fell off the wagon again, I feel like shit, I feel alone despite I am surrounded by people. That dark feeling chases me wherever I go, it has left me completely numb and helpless and it's all because of her. It has been 3 or 4 years since I broke up with her and suddenly she crawled her way back into my life, I was never over her really, but I had these feelings buried deep inside me rendered unable to hurt me until now. Ever since I saw her my heart started aching like the day I got torn in half, unable to live, just able to survive... Dark thought cloud my brain and I don't know how long I can keep this up, I see all my friends and family moving on, but I am stuck in the past, unable to move, unable to dream, unable to hope and when hope is lost I fear for the worst, I fear that I will end up like one too many lost poet, dead and only remembered by few touched souls, in the best case scenario...