deepundergroundpoetry.com
Shooting Stars
When we met, you wore black on black and
Strolled through the smoke like a femme fatal.
You tried to hide the veins with tracks but
I knew your past was something major.
Those holes in your arms didn't laugh and
I felt like they'd be back sooner or later.
Our love was sure to be tragic but
We were willing to fade away together.
Coke became our habit and
Cut into us like a thousand razors.
Every night was like a strange magic but
By sunrise, we were lost in the dark forever.
We hoped to be lovers not just addicts and
Told ourselves that we would get better.
That first gaze you gave had me trapt but
All along I knew I wouldn't be your savior.
We were shooting stars stuck in an attic and
Never stopped believing in happily ever after.
Strolled through the smoke like a femme fatal.
You tried to hide the veins with tracks but
I knew your past was something major.
Those holes in your arms didn't laugh and
I felt like they'd be back sooner or later.
Our love was sure to be tragic but
We were willing to fade away together.
Coke became our habit and
Cut into us like a thousand razors.
Every night was like a strange magic but
By sunrise, we were lost in the dark forever.
We hoped to be lovers not just addicts and
Told ourselves that we would get better.
That first gaze you gave had me trapt but
All along I knew I wouldn't be your savior.
We were shooting stars stuck in an attic and
Never stopped believing in happily ever after.
Written by
rainy_day13
(william swann)
Published 10th Apr 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 20
reading list entries 4
comments 30
reads 1377
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Shooting Stars
11th Apr 2016 7:48am
your poem moves with dark melodies & a strange magic.
struggling love for a woman with a past...
struggling love for a woman with a past...
2
Re. Shooting Stars
12th Apr 2016 1:17am
Re. Shooting Stars
24th Jun 2016 9:57pm
Re. Shooting Stars
28th May 2018 9:27pm
dearest Rainy you have a natural talent here
there is one spelling edit on trapt-trapped
but the poem and feeling behind it is
extremely gripping..
from one addict to another
it reached me..
love Raven
there is one spelling edit on trapt-trapped
but the poem and feeling behind it is
extremely gripping..
from one addict to another
it reached me..
love Raven
2
Re: Re. Shooting Stars
28th May 2018 9:31pm
Thank you. I haven't been in the loop on dp in awhile so this is the first comment in a long time. Thank you.
Re: Re. Shooting Stars
28th May 2018 9:44pm
welcome back to DU
you have a unique style
to an all too familiar pain..
love Raven
you have a unique style
to an all too familiar pain..
love Raven
2
Re. Shooting Stars
Anonymous
29th May 2018 00:23am
This gave me chills.. It sadden me, drug addiction is such a serious thing. But I'm glad your staying strong
2
Anonymous
- Edited 24th Oct 2018 3:45pm
29th May 2018 8:51am
<< post removed >>
Re. Shooting Stars
5th Jun 2018 2:01pm
Oh How I love this... Bitter sweet truth tinged with Angst.... and slight regret...
You are a Masterful Poet My Friend...
Ink Praise!!
XOXO
Fire
You are a Masterful Poet My Friend...
Ink Praise!!
XOXO
Fire
1
Re. Shooting Stars
15th Jul 2018 3:03pm
It's how the narrator tried to be his lover's savior, only to fall into the same trap. This is a great poem, and I wish you luck in the competition!
1
Re. Shooting Stars
22nd Sep 2018 1:55am
Re: Re. Shooting Stars
22nd Sep 2018 3:21am
Re. Shooting Stars
23rd Feb 2019 8:49am
Re. Shooting Stars
23rd Feb 2019 8:49am
Re. Shooting Stars
31st Oct 2019 4:41am
Re: Re. Shooting Stars
31st Oct 2019 4:51am
Re. Shooting Stars
15th Feb 2020 3:35pm
Re: Re. Shooting Stars
17th Mar 2020 00:17am
Re. Shooting Stars
17th Mar 2020 4:42am
Re: Re. Shooting Stars
17th Mar 2020 4:45am
Thank you for your time and attention. I enjoy your work so your compliments mean alot. I'm really glad you like it.
Re: Re. Shooting Stars
12th Apr 2020 8:54am
Re. Shooting Stars
15th May 2021 2:55am
Nice work on this. Captivating theme of a doomed relationship of a couple who are looking for a savior in each other.
1
Re: Re. Shooting Stars
15th May 2021 2:59am
Thank you again. I enjoy your work as well so it means a great deal to me that you liked it. Thank you again for your time and interest. I'll be circling back to your work. I've greatly enjoyed what I've read this far. Greatly appreciated!
Re. Shooting Stars
15th Aug 2021 8:53am
"We were shooting stars stuck in an attic"
Wow! Mind blowing line... Love it!
"Our love was sure to be tragic but
We were willing to fade away together. ".....beautiful... This verse encapsulates the depth of love so well
In its entirety, a great piece
Wow! Mind blowing line... Love it!
"Our love was sure to be tragic but
We were willing to fade away together. ".....beautiful... This verse encapsulates the depth of love so well
In its entirety, a great piece
1
Re: Re. Shooting Stars
16th Aug 2021 3:02am
What a flattering comment that was . Thank you so much. I'm very glad you enjoyed reading it.
Re: Re. Shooting Stars
16th Aug 2021 3:05am
What a flattering comment that was . Thank you so much. I'm very glad you enjoyed reading it.
Re. Shooting Stars
14th Sep 2021 6:56am
This line cut me so deep, "Coke became our habit and Cut into us like a thousand razors."
I can feel the pain that's spread throughout your work, William. It's haunting and yet beautiful.
- Love, Angel x
I can feel the pain that's spread throughout your work, William. It's haunting and yet beautiful.
- Love, Angel x
1
Re: Re. Shooting Stars
14th Sep 2021 8:20am
What a great comment. Very intuitive. And thank you for the compliment. I really appreciate your time!