PTSD and me

i want people to feel my pain but they cant
you havent been were i have been
you havent seen what i've seen never ending screams
get the hell away from me ill fucking murder you
it's not murder when your commissioned to
please no the screams
dont you fucking understand the pain that i feel
ya im tuff as nails  
tuffer then nails
but even nails break
 help me i swirl thru endless memories
they really control me
good day
bad day
it'sd all up to the PTSD destroying me
i told you im crazy now you see
GET the fuck away from me
forever i bleed in constant misery