You Don't Want My Love {Contaminated Penmanship}

 
Inconsistent incoherent  
..narcissistic..nah..  
You don't want this  
Unless of course you have  
A penchant for emotional  
Purgatory..  
I do believe in Love  
And it's many manifestations.  
But I..have a..conglomerate  
Of issues..  
No..not like baggage  
Not talking about skeletons  
Bangin in my closet..  
More like those..  
Dusty old demons  
Wandering..aimlessly  
Inside my attic..  
Each waiting his..or her turn  
To have at you..  
To fuck the shit outta you  
Lick you  
Slurp you..senseless..  
Leave you sprawling...  
Defenseless...  
Ready to twist your haughty morals  
Inside out..  
No..wait..wait  
Pardon I..  
This was not my intent..  
{Somebody} just highjacked  
My pen..  
Just for a second..  
I'm back..  
In control..  
Now where was I..  
Yeah..  
You see..  
My issues don't involve hate  
Or regret..  
Don't know  
Maybe they're the precursors  
To my..contempt..  
And it is this contempt  
That's been brewing  
Burgeoning..  
Deep inside my belly  
I've been pregnant with this thing  
For 20 some odd years  
Like a stone baby  
I refuse to give birth to  
But if you want  
I can smother you with  
Its afterbirth  
Like crimson quicksand  
Asphyxiating you..  
Siphoning you..  
Nahhh baby..  
You don't want my love..  
Cuz beneath this..calm  
Misleading demeanor  
Lurks something a lot meaner  
That hates your hypocrisy..  
Wait..hold up..  
Hold the fuck up!!!  
That was NOT me!!!  
Who the fuck is playin  
Games with my pen?!!  
Fuckin asshole!!  
Look baby..  
I would like to finish this poem  
And tell you of my  
Deepest emotions..  
But every time I try to dig deep  
I lose myself..  
Whenever I try to express  
My darkest emotions  
Something else latches on to them  
Distorting thoughts  
And my pen regurgitates  
This..this...  
Maaaan..  
I don't know what this is!  
But hey..  
At least I tried...  
I get some credit for that  
At least ..  
Yeah??