The Worst Part is Pretending

Sitting in the back seat
you toying with my zipper
while we pretended to care
about buying cheap liquor

Again in the back seat on the way to Superior
your nails digging into my jeans
clawing at the material

On the couch with our friends during a group sleep over
where lascivious kisses were less than covert
my brother and his girl trying to cover up the urge
but they kissed that night too
and we knew they would work

cuddled on the couch
rubbing under the blanket
while they all pretended not to know
it was cheating, and blatant

In the mornings you'd skip class and not let me go
rushing into my living room
and out of your clothes
we got caught so many times kissing
forgetting to lock the doors

I wonder sometimes
if they saw us do more
if they saw you suck me off while lying on the floor
or riding me hard while you watched the snow storm

We didn't break clean
but I think we're mending
our words so few and quiet now
that there's barely any

When I see your face
sometimes the ire boils up
but the amity quenches it
I've been angry long enough



The worst part wasn't stopping
the worst part is pretending it's okay
never talking and admitting
we both want a happier ending finally