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Patchouli
.
He didn't bargain for
what was to come...
hurt and abused as he
had been, by the
meat-eating women he
laid with each night,
for one so new and fresh
to come and stay,
this bohemian vegan
in her caftan,
showing to advantage
her pear-shaped breasts
through paisley sleeves that belled
open; breezeways,
a blithe spirit floating
in patchouli,
with tender nipples, flushed
and pointing... up.
©2016 Jade-Pandora. All Rights Reserved.
This piece was posted in the DUP Endless Challenge (since 2010): "write a poem involving breasts"
He didn't bargain for
what was to come...
hurt and abused as he
had been, by the
meat-eating women he
laid with each night,
for one so new and fresh
to come and stay,
this bohemian vegan
in her caftan,
showing to advantage
her pear-shaped breasts
through paisley sleeves that belled
open; breezeways,
a blithe spirit floating
in patchouli,
with tender nipples, flushed
and pointing... up.
©2016 Jade-Pandora. All Rights Reserved.
This piece was posted in the DUP Endless Challenge (since 2010): "write a poem involving breasts"
Written by
Jade-Pandora
(jade tiger)
Published 21st Jan 2016
| Edited 28th Dec 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 9
reading list entries 0
comments 14
reads 877
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Patchouli
21st Jan 2016 11:25am
Love the imagery this conjured, Jade. Boho and Nag Champa here, sister. Loved and genuineness always make a difference.
2
Re: Re. Patchouli
21st Jan 2016 12:40pm
Ohh yes indeed, sweet Ahavati, and thank you for this lovely early bird morning (for me - 4:39AM here!) greeting! ((((HUGS))))
Re. Patchouli
21st Jan 2016 1:16pm
always loving your imagery , jade. i learn something new each time. Thank you for that.
My favorite stanza:
"showing to advantage
her pear-shaped breasts
through paisley sleeves that belled
open; breezeways, "
it's the concrete images that does it. It is those images that drew me in, and lit a desire to see more. Nice job.
My favorite stanza:
"showing to advantage
her pear-shaped breasts
through paisley sleeves that belled
open; breezeways, "
it's the concrete images that does it. It is those images that drew me in, and lit a desire to see more. Nice job.
2
Re: Re. Patchouli
21st Jan 2016 1:27pm
Ahh thank you dear Ed - it means a lot to have such insightful and yet plain down-to-earth speak going right to the heart of the piece. I can die happy now.
Well, not literally, but you know...
Well, not literally, but you know...
Re. Patchouli
21st Jan 2016 1:33pm
showing to advantage
her pear-shaped breasts
through paisley sleeves that belled
open; breezeways,
a blithe spirit floating
in patchouli,
with tender nipples, flushed
and pointing... up.
Took me right back to my festival days... and all the dancing whirling girls... in their Patchouli and their paisleys...
Excellent imagery takes me right there...
Love it and the way it leaves me feeling...
her pear-shaped breasts
through paisley sleeves that belled
open; breezeways,
a blithe spirit floating
in patchouli,
with tender nipples, flushed
and pointing... up.
Took me right back to my festival days... and all the dancing whirling girls... in their Patchouli and their paisleys...
Excellent imagery takes me right there...
Love it and the way it leaves me feeling...
1
Re: Re. Patchouli
Ah good, very good... that I've taken you back to such a place -- festivals, I've always loved gatherings of people at festivals: the music, the food, the "souvenirs" you step in while walking across the grass between booths, lol!
And thank you, Geoff.
And thank you, Geoff.
Re. Patchouli
21st Jan 2016 4:22pm
Visually seductive with sweetly scented words. Your patchouli forest is worthy of playing hide and seek...
JJ
JJ
2
Re: Re. Patchouli
23rd Jan 2016 11:08am
Re. Patchouli
22nd Jan 2016 1:41am
Lovely write Jade,
If it weren't a endless competition I bet it would win :)
If it weren't a endless competition I bet it would win :)
1
Re: Re. Patchouli
23rd Jan 2016 11:09am
Re. Patchouli
22nd Jan 2016 4:27am
Jade your imagery was gorgeous. And the sexual healing was exhilarating to anticipate. You really are a great poet. This is truly exceptional poetry.
John
John
1
Re: Re. Patchouli
Thank you so much, John. This small pebble receives the life-giving rain your words send to the garden, and is happy to remain mute by its blessings.
Re. Patchouli
23rd Jan 2016 4:32pm
I've seen the word lovely in the comments but I have to use it myself Jade. This was a lovely piece and the imagery is magical. I can see it with my eyes closed, what a pleasant thing to see in the morning. Just wonderful.
John
John
1
Re: Re. Patchouli
24th Jan 2016 00:16am
That's most kind of you to relay, of how this piece moves through you as if it were a mantra to greet your day.