Mind Of A Homeless Heartbroken Hard Soldier

Yo I don't want a job I want the world by the balls,
I ain't even asking for y'all to follow
I'm saying let's crack open a bottle
Get to problem solving and plotting
How to get to the top and bring the streets up too,
You act like you care bout these people too
You game then you wanna change the topic and drop it keep ya potential locked in,
My time ain't an option, my time's all I got, in the past I've had to fight for my life just to get through some difficult stuff,
You don't know
Don't tell me you know
I went from selling the blow to a whole new scene I never seen myself so low
Holes in me now I had to evolve wit new dreams
As far as team things go
I've been shown I go all in just to see myself have to let it all go
You take my free things tho
You take my fucking support
Then you scoff when I talk
I don't ask for a lot just solidity
Come wit me now or don't talk to me
I drowned plenty enough
No longer bound
Let me get up
You ain't gonna slow the roll
I am the only one able to hold my soul
I was willing to use it for y'all
To build a fucking empire
In open to y'all dreams too
Don't let em expire
It gets hard
Time to get yours
I ain't got time to sit and get bored
Inner lion is roaring
Yo I'm tired of praying for a better morning
I can create that reality
In a state to pounce
I need to add value to society
Karma fucked wit the dirty money I made
I'm dying. Y'all was never really riding
Get ready to see this side of me
I ain't even bout fighting
Just don't try to reach out
After I really get to rising
I ain't gonna see myself go South
You dodging route wit excuses of timing
I see it come out of MY motivation
How's that for a down bitch
Why you think I tried to save y'all too?
Cause shit always fall through
I need saving too
Even been behaving too
You prefer to sit and wait
When I'm 30 I wanna say I dun changed
So imma drop the scheming the cunning the criminal genius
It ain't no longer my job to make you people money by all I got, MY any and all means
Tryna get the stamina expand my mind past these untrustworthy games
I'm always gonna be a hustler
But I wanna better my brain
I've probably lost out bending over backwards just to get attacked
Life handed you a diamond y'all throw back lemons wonder why there's tension
End up back at crack church, imma stand up and laugh, man I have to, my back hurts
I'm a damned creature of habit
Surrounded by acid tabs cement slabs and havoc
The sands of time are so fucking precious
So much so I'm on the beach of life
Almost wanting to be careful where I'm stepping
I can't wait for y'all when you told me you'd roll
And get defensive, weapons
I ain't looking for control
I'm so fucking lonely
We could all work to up the worth of all
But y'all rather be phony
No it ain't just you
It ain't just her
It ain't just him
These ain't just words
I trust first
But I'm coming to terms with the alienation
Big tings we could literally be running the word
I'm haunted I ain't wanna have to get bail I've spent enough time in em cells
You mask and reveal your whack ways when my back turned
Almost ended up back on backpage
Selling Epson salts for crack change
Now I wanna repair my nation
It ain't fair for y'all to tear me when I was tryna play fair and create
Sorry I push for the here, the now
I make shift
It's always time to reach for the clouds
I'm sick of saying my business plans
To be told to be patient
Did Bill Gates wait
Go ahead I HOPE y'all hate me
I was tryna save some of ya
Make a come up for most of ya
I waste my love you use it on ya pain
I've been brought down for so long
I barely even feel my gains
I was thoughtful and committed to the cause
Y'all wouldn't even make an effort to see me or discuss a thing I been on the concrete hopeless to the core
Still ready to go lengths for you fucks
Broke as fuck addicted to drugs
And y'all pissed you ain't seen me?
Now nothing. Nothing can stop me
You know how fucking hard is it to be me?
Love me, be all for me, aim for the trophy
Or stay the fuck away from me
Some of you after my drugs
Some of you after my money
Some of you just add to my havoc
It's back to the slums wit a blunt and a half a dozen hoodies
I even tried to motivate a lot of ya put you back on the map
I thought we had a plan of action
I shouldn't have to sad and chastised Pick you up drop you off realize I been used, fuck it's back to trappin til I got enough to follow my path make business art fashion and rap shit happen
Couldn't come through for your part
What, was y'all fucking acting?
Duck duck goose
I'm done with games
Sorry it's all you pat ya own head
Scratch ya own back too
Build up ya own troop
I may be too spaced out to save face
Most of you playas playin wit two
Cause you fumbled on the making of the bread and numerous other circumstances that left me damaged
That's the shit you just don't do
Upon a link up, this is berserk
I shoulda learned but y'all start to stir my purpose and I been so deterred, almost felt I was destined to be worthless and deserved it
I used to listen to some of y'alls problem
Now I'm lower sinkin thinking up
Ways to fucking get rich while kicking this fucking drug
No you fucking burnout I will not wait til the end of the month for you to pay up
They say I'm too animated, I ain't needa staple my lips shit
Y'all hateful, y'all ain't getting fronts, and I ain't gonna share my drugs
I been drug by my angel wings
To the underground where they was cut
I wanna save up for things
Basically a kingdom
Finger fucked right in the third eye
Been burned, lied to, ain't worth believing or relying on you chumps
I let some inside, they just got me skeptical and blind
I'm free basin middle finger up
I'm just telling you the time
Time for this one to get up and finger nail this shit
I ain't need a trigger or scales or shit
Finger prints of past, I'm timid
Y'all never cared still pretended
I'm left to a bare wallet, an empty stare, my all and my last care
I say this all now but imma give it away
Wonder if my ability to trust will ever be repaired
I even gave my limits away
You'll see better days I'll see better days
But you'll be in a minute of fakeness
And I'll be laughing in ya face then
Y'all had mad time to prove you can grind and are willing to make it
I had all these ideas
Illegal and nation healing
Simple labour, bartending, dealing
But y'all just taking, stealing
I do it for vengeance
Thanks for the lesson
I gotta get bustin like milligrams of sedative
Don't act like you care where my head rest
I'm not to be tested
At wits end
It's not just one
Money hungry women and men
I was suggesting some of y'all should get to know me, maybe be open to taking a shot in the dark, but you doubt my positive motives I got dark and closed
I was the queen of the hearts, now I'm creased n folded broken covered in little coke bits
Stars are the target tho
Bitches
I gotta go hard just to get a home
I don't care if you sensitive or this shit I say whack so what
There's so fucking many of em
I gotta let em know