deepundergroundpoetry.com
Story Of My Life
In a dim-lit room, lying on the therapist's couch as she tells me to tell her what's wrong with me.
Then I look at her and say " well where do you want me to begin?".
Ever since from the start I've been the worrier, the care giver, the one that bares the scars, and the one that will go far and wide just to keep everyone happy.
Never really felt the need to speak about my feelings so I think this is somewhat pointless, but I figured what the hell.
As a child I was taught to never dwell or be too emotional because even crying was a sign of weakness,
I never blamed them for it,
I never questioned anything about it I just did as I was told while at the same time hoping to some day break free from the shackles that I was given.
Chained down to responsibilities when really all I ever wanted to do was be like every other kid and play, but for some reason I felt like I was fourty years old half of the time the other half I just didn't belong.
Sometimes I even wondered if I was gone would anyone remember me or
Would I be just some other weirdo?.
Getting bullied by both the boys and girls as they would love to torment me.
But my anger took over me and I fought them all,
with every punch, every bite, every scratch, every kick I was taking my frustrations out on them. I'd get in trouble anyways because they were normal and I wasn't.
Been told I was stupid, I was useless, I couldn't do anything right
I was weak, I was heartless, I was brainless, and the list goes on.
Growing up wasn't easy either,
As I got older things got more rougher as it was a silent battle that I had to face on my own.
I had to grow tougher in order to show I wasn't the weakest link.
Even at home there was always a war and I was the soldier that had to fight through it.
Couldn't even find any comfort in those I loved.
Being shoved away as they would dismay the love I had for them.
One said they loved me, but suddenly were never around claiming that they were always busy, but honestly I thought they found someone new.
Someone who could make them more happy than I ever could.
Another made me fall head over heels in love,
I was always dreaming about what it would be like if we just ran away together and lived with each other happily ever after.
But they didn't want that so I had to let them go.
I loved them so much it hurts me to even think about them, but I can't blame them I should've known better than to fall in love with someone like that, never again will it happen.
But as the days go by I try to take them each step at a time and taking the good as great and bad as worthless.
Story of my life.
Then I look at her and say " well where do you want me to begin?".
Ever since from the start I've been the worrier, the care giver, the one that bares the scars, and the one that will go far and wide just to keep everyone happy.
Never really felt the need to speak about my feelings so I think this is somewhat pointless, but I figured what the hell.
As a child I was taught to never dwell or be too emotional because even crying was a sign of weakness,
I never blamed them for it,
I never questioned anything about it I just did as I was told while at the same time hoping to some day break free from the shackles that I was given.
Chained down to responsibilities when really all I ever wanted to do was be like every other kid and play, but for some reason I felt like I was fourty years old half of the time the other half I just didn't belong.
Sometimes I even wondered if I was gone would anyone remember me or
Would I be just some other weirdo?.
Getting bullied by both the boys and girls as they would love to torment me.
But my anger took over me and I fought them all,
with every punch, every bite, every scratch, every kick I was taking my frustrations out on them. I'd get in trouble anyways because they were normal and I wasn't.
Been told I was stupid, I was useless, I couldn't do anything right
I was weak, I was heartless, I was brainless, and the list goes on.
Growing up wasn't easy either,
As I got older things got more rougher as it was a silent battle that I had to face on my own.
I had to grow tougher in order to show I wasn't the weakest link.
Even at home there was always a war and I was the soldier that had to fight through it.
Couldn't even find any comfort in those I loved.
Being shoved away as they would dismay the love I had for them.
One said they loved me, but suddenly were never around claiming that they were always busy, but honestly I thought they found someone new.
Someone who could make them more happy than I ever could.
Another made me fall head over heels in love,
I was always dreaming about what it would be like if we just ran away together and lived with each other happily ever after.
But they didn't want that so I had to let them go.
I loved them so much it hurts me to even think about them, but I can't blame them I should've known better than to fall in love with someone like that, never again will it happen.
But as the days go by I try to take them each step at a time and taking the good as great and bad as worthless.
Story of my life.
Published 12th Dec 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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12th Dec 2015 5:32am
12th Dec 2015 9:16pm
Ahhh, MsRockyJackson, luv ~ :-*
Tis the process of counseling, of therapy that's the key - not what they do so much, though they help facilitate, but what we do that's beneficial to us.
No one can deal with this like we can, but sometimes it's hard to see the way without help, eh? :-*
You go, girl. You've got this. It can be challenging and tough, but I've found it to be so very worthwhile, luv.
Tis the process of counseling, of therapy that's the key - not what they do so much, though they help facilitate, but what we do that's beneficial to us.
No one can deal with this like we can, but sometimes it's hard to see the way without help, eh? :-*
You go, girl. You've got this. It can be challenging and tough, but I've found it to be so very worthwhile, luv.
Thank you Savaja for that lovely comment.
I was having a bit of a bad day and started reminiscing over my past and those I've fell in love with and began thinking about how it would be like if I talked to a therapist about the things that happened in my life.
So I created this in order to feel better.
Life can be challenging and tough, but I guess it can all be worthwhile.
Thanks for understanding and reading :)
I was having a bit of a bad day and started reminiscing over my past and those I've fell in love with and began thinking about how it would be like if I talked to a therapist about the things that happened in my life.
So I created this in order to feel better.
Life can be challenging and tough, but I guess it can all be worthwhile.
Thanks for understanding and reading :)
15th Dec 2015 3:31am
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WOW!!
I hope YOU get-have the opportunity to lighten your load... Reads like its been "ugly" hectic. Don't wanna say 'pretty' because to me that doesn't sound like it would apply to your story at all. That's another write, right? Anyways, sounds like it's been Rocky and you've been Jack'd up, but remember...That Sun does come, goes too because I see it heading your way all the time. Every day YOU just gotta stay patient and stay focused.. YOUR story is NOT ova
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.
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WOW!!
I hope YOU get-have the opportunity to lighten your load... Reads like its been "ugly" hectic. Don't wanna say 'pretty' because to me that doesn't sound like it would apply to your story at all. That's another write, right? Anyways, sounds like it's been Rocky and you've been Jack'd up, but remember...That Sun does come, goes too because I see it heading your way all the time. Every day YOU just gotta stay patient and stay focused.. YOUR story is NOT ova
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