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Nate, i loved you, sorry but I am angry!!
I am so fucking ANGRY!!
My Nate why'd you have to OD?
Nate you had 2 weeks clean!!
I am ANGRY!!
Nate you were only 33..
Nate what about your lil baby Emily!?
I am ANGRY!!
Nate i led you into recovery?
Nate you loved your NA family!
I am ANGRY!!!
Nate were you dyin for H's release?!
Nate you shot up now you R.I.P!!
I am ANGRY!!!
Why couldn't you f ing call me!!??
You couldn't just say help me please?
I am angry Nate im so angry at me!!
I am also sorry i am so angry..
IM ANGRY IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME
ANGRY AT THIS FUCKING DISEASE
ANGRY BURRYING KIDS AT TWENTY
ANGRY MOTHERS IN THEIR TEENS
BIRTHING ADDICTION BABIES
SHAKING IN WITHDRAWL VIOENTLY
ANGRY WITH THE WHOLE SADISTIC F ING TWISTED CYCLE OF ADDICTION SCENE
So Nate i get down on mih knee
And in his great name i pray to thee..
For both of us i pray for peace..
God, grant me the Serenity......
My Nate why'd you have to OD?
Nate you had 2 weeks clean!!
I am ANGRY!!
Nate you were only 33..
Nate what about your lil baby Emily!?
I am ANGRY!!
Nate i led you into recovery?
Nate you loved your NA family!
I am ANGRY!!!
Nate were you dyin for H's release?!
Nate you shot up now you R.I.P!!
I am ANGRY!!!
Why couldn't you f ing call me!!??
You couldn't just say help me please?
I am angry Nate im so angry at me!!
I am also sorry i am so angry..
IM ANGRY IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME
ANGRY AT THIS FUCKING DISEASE
ANGRY BURRYING KIDS AT TWENTY
ANGRY MOTHERS IN THEIR TEENS
BIRTHING ADDICTION BABIES
SHAKING IN WITHDRAWL VIOENTLY
ANGRY WITH THE WHOLE SADISTIC F ING TWISTED CYCLE OF ADDICTION SCENE
So Nate i get down on mih knee
And in his great name i pray to thee..
For both of us i pray for peace..
God, grant me the Serenity......
Published 26th Oct 2015
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likes 10
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comments 35
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The author encourages honest critique.
26th Oct 2015 11:50am
26th Oct 2015 12:13pm
26th Oct 2015 1:26pm
My heart hurts for you Jennifer. It's clear that you loved Nate very much and loss is so hard to take. After your anger you will learn acceptance as hard as that might be to believe. I keep you in my thoughts sweety.
John
John
26th Oct 2015 1:33pm
Yeah...its just that he was getting clean...finally.
Im angrier at the disease. Thanks so much John...was gonna message you today. Si we will talk later love
Im angrier at the disease. Thanks so much John...was gonna message you today. Si we will talk later love
26th Oct 2015 1:34pm
Yeah...its just that he was getting clean...finally.
Im angrier at the disease. Thanks so much John...was gonna message you today. Si we will talk later love
Im angrier at the disease. Thanks so much John...was gonna message you today. Si we will talk later love
Anonymous
26th Oct 2015 2:05pm
Sorry for you loss, words do not help, but . . .
26th Oct 2015 2:47pm
26th Oct 2015 3:25pm
So sorry love.......I have come to know how important this is to you and the reasons why. The hard reality is, we can't save everyone nor can we relish in their loss for we must continue to attempt to save those in need that we can save. Jennifer, it's gonna' be alright. I love you babe........😢
26th Oct 2015 4:50pm
Oh baby thanks...love you so much!!
Yeah...itll be fine im just so pissed
.he was just on his way...
Love and devotion
Jennifer
Yeah...itll be fine im just so pissed
.he was just on his way...
Love and devotion
Jennifer
26th Oct 2015 4:50pm
Oh baby thanks...love you so much!!
Yeah...itll be fine im just so pissed
.he was just on his way...
Love and devotion
Jennifer
Yeah...itll be fine im just so pissed
.he was just on his way...
Love and devotion
Jennifer
Take Care Jen darling. I hope you have the strength and courage to overcome this. Remember, it is not your fault. Don't be too hard on yourself.
26th Oct 2015 4:58pm
Im ok Aaarti..im in NA and have good clean time...this guy Nathan was an old friend and had just quit heroine.
Just had a couple weeks...but went thrpugh his withdrawls with him...
Love ya
Jennifer
Just had a couple weeks...but went thrpugh his withdrawls with him...
Love ya
Jennifer
26th Oct 2015 4:58pm
Im ok Aaarti..im in NA and have good clean time...this guy Nathan was an old friend and had just quit heroine.
Just had a couple weeks...but went thrpugh his withdrawls with him...
Love ya
Jennifer
Just had a couple weeks...but went thrpugh his withdrawls with him...
Love ya
Jennifer
26th Oct 2015 6:51pm
26th Oct 2015 10:11pm
26th Oct 2015 10:11pm
26th Oct 2015 8:26pm
Tragic as it is, this may be one of those things you cannot change. You do your best, you love them, but it's up to the addict to make the decision to seek help after having surrendered, and stick to the program. I understand your anger fully, and I think it's admirable. I just hope you don't feel any guilt. In the case of an od, or a suicide, friends and family often wonder where they went wrong, blaming themselves. Again, you do your best and make your friendship available. Still very, very sad. But this is excellent, caring work, Jen.
26th Oct 2015 10:20pm
Yes.....im just very angry at the disease right now. 3 weeks ago we had. 24 year old member with 2 babies blow their head off. Addiction is ugly.
Thanks a lot darlin.
Love ya
Jennifer
Thanks a lot darlin.
Love ya
Jennifer
26th Oct 2015 9:01pm
Beautifully raw and honest, Jennifer.
I am sorry for your loss. May your anger be replaced with the intent of your heart,
which undoubtedly is love.
I am sorry for your loss. May your anger be replaced with the intent of your heart,
which undoubtedly is love.
27th Oct 2015 1:07am
Never stop being pissed at the disease..
But i love him...he fought...he lost..ilove Nathan. He is in peace.
Thank you
Love
Jennifer
But i love him...he fought...he lost..ilove Nathan. He is in peace.
Thank you
Love
Jennifer
27th Oct 2015 1:07am
Never stop being pissed at the disease..
But i love him...he fought...he lost..ilove Nathan. He is in peace.
Thank you
Love
Jennifer
But i love him...he fought...he lost..ilove Nathan. He is in peace.
Thank you
Love
Jennifer
27th Oct 2015 1:03am
27th Oct 2015 1:05am
Jordan i swear...please i promise you..you promise me....talk k
Love you
Jennifer
Love you
Jennifer
27th Oct 2015 1:05am
Jordan i swear...please i promise you..you promise me....talk k
Love you
Jennifer
Love you
Jennifer
27th Oct 2015 11:51am
27th Oct 2015 11:55am
27th Oct 2015 12:26pm
I feel for you and I'm sorry. Having dealt with addiction first hand I know what a horrible disease it is. Thanks for sharing, and my prayers and thoughts are with you.
-K
-K
27th Oct 2015 4:44pm
Thank you very very much!! All the people opening up and their support has meant the world. A very active 12 step gal..if ever..im a pm away!
Love
Calamity of Jennifer
Love
Calamity of Jennifer
27th Oct 2015 4:44pm
Thank you very very much!! All the people opening up and their support has meant the world. A very active 12 step gal..if ever..im a pm away!
Love
Calamity of Jennifer
Love
Calamity of Jennifer
27th Oct 2015 7:31pm
can feel your heartache in this, i think we all have lost someone to drugs so this resonates across oceans, we have to accept the fact that we only have so much control of another's life, as heartbreaking as that can be, i pray for your healing...
27th Oct 2015 11:28pm
Im an NA sponcee and sponcer..chair..very active member..but alas..you are correct. Thanks deanD.
Love
Jennifer
Love
Jennifer
28th Oct 2015 10:11am
Damn... Sorry to read of your lost.
My condolences to all within your family n friends.
My condolences to all within your family n friends.
28th Oct 2015 1:25pm
28th Oct 2015 6:49pm
"For both of us i pray for peace..
God, grant me the Serenity...... "
Every emotion you pour in honesty will free you of burdened weight Creampuff. I
feel your heart and the anger then guilt, then fear for yourself wrap into a tight ball
of heartache that I'm glad you are working thru by pen.. *that's your cornerstone of
strength ladyluv.. lean when you need 'tay?
much luvs
~T
God, grant me the Serenity...... "
Every emotion you pour in honesty will free you of burdened weight Creampuff. I
feel your heart and the anger then guilt, then fear for yourself wrap into a tight ball
of heartache that I'm glad you are working thru by pen.. *that's your cornerstone of
strength ladyluv.. lean when you need 'tay?
much luvs
~T
28th Oct 2015 9:17pm
