deepundergroundpoetry.com
Introspect
It was wild
Our ride.
Swept into selves
We brought it.
Hungry for change
We made it
Happen.
Broken we were
From infancy.
Carrying all of it
Into Us.
We couldn't hide it
Our fragments,
Clashed.
Eventually, it crippled Us.
The high of love,
Intermingling
With the low
Of Us.
I forgive you,
I'm sorry,
About me.
I couldn't see it.
Came late
To the party.
You, didn't know
There was one.
Our ride.
Swept into selves
We brought it.
Hungry for change
We made it
Happen.
Broken we were
From infancy.
Carrying all of it
Into Us.
We couldn't hide it
Our fragments,
Clashed.
Eventually, it crippled Us.
The high of love,
Intermingling
With the low
Of Us.
I forgive you,
I'm sorry,
About me.
I couldn't see it.
Came late
To the party.
You, didn't know
There was one.
Published 20th Sep 2015
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20th Sep 2015 6:23am
sounds like the fireworks were blinding. it's a hard fall from that height...
20th Sep 2015 4:43pm
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2020 3:45am
20th Sep 2015 10:17pm
<< post removed >>
20th Sep 2015 10:36pm
20th Sep 2015 11:02pm
21st Sep 2015 00:06am
You use short lines very effectively Lookie.
" We couldn't hide it
Our fragments,
Clashed."
Your lines have power in their fragmentation, giving a better idea of how folks actually think. You can be terse in your verse and make the point all the better. Fine job!
" We couldn't hide it
Our fragments,
Clashed."
Your lines have power in their fragmentation, giving a better idea of how folks actually think. You can be terse in your verse and make the point all the better. Fine job!
21st Sep 2015 1:10am
Appreciate, very much, your helpful comment Mr.C!
This is how it comes to me, sometimes I wish I could have a little more 'flowery' descriptives. More depth I guess, but sometimes, for me, simple is better.
Loves.
This is how it comes to me, sometimes I wish I could have a little more 'flowery' descriptives. More depth I guess, but sometimes, for me, simple is better.
Loves.
Anonymous
21st Sep 2015 1:54am
Miss LooLoo. . .avery heartfelt and genuine write. . .and your word play ~ breathless. . .xoxo, Devlin;_
22nd Sep 2015 4:22pm
Very glad you like my word play Devlin, and leaving you breathless! Loves.
21st Sep 2015 5:18am
Loo, you've written a quite poignant piece. I glean much wisdom from your words. The idea that our true selves sometimes are not compatible with someone with whom we are intimately involved...sexually attracted. Brava Loo!
22nd Sep 2015 4:23pm
